jingling bangles

yes, im alive! sorry for the long delay in posts - but in Kolhapur we really didn't have internet access that was secure, and we felt it was better to stay on the safe side - not wanting to jeopardize anyone's safety.
so - im not sure i can capture everything that happened in the last 10 days, but i can give some glimpses.
as i sit here in the hotel room in Pune once again, my green sparkling bangles jingle as i type. They were given to me as a gift at the girl's hostel nika, consuela and i stayed in for two nights - in Kadooli - a small village outside Kolhapur. The girls live there and some are sponsored, some are not. Some are from poor families, some have no family, some have mothers in the redlight district, and they are all lovely, bright eyed balls of energy who love to dance and tell stories and sing songs and call me Sarah Diddi (sister sarah) - pulling at my hand to come and see. Clapping games, eating rice, the electricity goes out in the midst of a song and they laugh in the complete darkness and continue singing. candles are brought and life continues - this is a common occurance. the gass goes out, so breakfast is cooked on an open fire. the uniforms are white colored shirts sewn to blue jumpers. red bows tied to their jet black beautiful braided hair. Why do they wish for lighter skin and eyes? why do they see the characters on TV as something to aspire to? What is beauty? what are their true hopes and dreams?
The first time we visited the hostel the whole team went - and we just went in and sat with them, and they sang for us, and we taught them a song... and we moved on. AS we were in the van driving back to Kolhapur i wrote this poem:

Children watching

stern, wonder

Sitting quiet in a row

Dark hair

big eyes

Who are these strangers here?

"nameste" smile, nod, watch.

" please sit"

Down in a row - on chairs

Who do they see looking at us?

Who do we see

Looking at them?

Children watching

stern, wonder

Dreams and fears

Lessons learned

Standing up to be a doctor, police

or an engineer

Future leaders

of this state- our world.

Sing a song

dance and clap

Is there joy here?

hope- love- peace?

Perhaps once forgotten

abandoned, neglected

hurts and fears

hope seems lost.

But a smile cracks

dark eyes shine bright

Dreams are alive

do you hear them?

"nameste" smile, nod, watch.

We drove for hours nearly every day visiting small villages all over the surrounding hills - passing fileds of sugar cane where the "migrant workers" set up teepees of gras and tarps while they were working all day in the fields for around $2.50. Sugar factories billowed smoke in the distance, young children ran about here and there - apparently the plantation owner is supposed to provide some schooling for the kids, but i wonder how often that happens? Passing the brick cilns reminded me of the stories of debt bondage where whole families were trapped for generatons "paying off" a debt that just keeps increasing. I could tell these people lived there among the bricks - their houses blended into the red brick landscape, dark doors into tiny little dwellings where two adults would hardly fit lying down. Again, children climed amongst the bricks, carying loads twice their size. And we drive by.

We enter the villages and see the animals wandering here and there - we are ushered into the houses and churches and offered flowers and tea. honored in a way that tested my ability to go with the flow sometimes... it is a form of humility, as nika was reflecting, to receive gifts and honor - as its a part of culture, and their joy of seeing Sheba and Ramesh and honoring them for the work they have done... we just get to join in and watch.

poverty lives at the doorstep of wealth - litterally. India is a land of contrasts and comparisons. Who is lighter, who is richer, who is of what family, who is of what education??? What religion, what caste, what background?! This defines a person, a future, a life. A girl with nothing, in this context can very easily be seen as nothing. She ceases to exist - and is merely a thing - that takes up food. This is harsh, but it is the truth is some contexts. When there is starvation, when survival is the goal to life, what would you do?

So often in scripture we are called to give thanks. Some of the days i've been weighed down by the overwhelming reality of the brokenness - often more in the little things. And I am reminded to give thanks - especially in the little things. Like green bangles, and rain as we crossed the mountains, and dancing with 100 brightly clothed giggling girls, and singing to Jesus in a remote village surrounded by sugar cane, and chai tea, and masala dosas and friends and joy and hope, and even sleep.

with that i will wrap this post up - as it is very late, and breakfast is early - and im tired. I will try to write more tomorrow, as i have much more to share!

blessings!

Cage

(this is a quote from a photo journal book of Kamathipura - one of the most nutorious redlight districts of Mumbai, and the world. we drove through part of it 2 days ago)

"A cage is the most emotive symbol of the sex trade.
Walk through Kamathipura and you see faces staring at you from barred windows. Many are childrens' faces, daubed with paint like ludicrous clowns, but there is no merriment in their eyes, only horror and a crushing resignation.
Look beyond the faces and you see their prison cells: narrow spaces divided from similar spaces by flimsy walls or curtains; the only articles of furniture are the squalid beds.
Body and bed constitute oe commodity in this slave market.
Incongruously, teddy bears and dolls stare up at you from greasy, sweat stained pillows like memories of innocence.
Childhood has been snatched from these girls. Their faces are young by their eyes are dead. They are the innocent punished for the crimes of the guilty: girls abducted from chiuldhood to serve as sex slaves in the Kamathipura hell.

Through the barred window, you are looking at one of the most atrocious crimes of the century. Don't look away.
Indifference is not an option.
The girl with the painted face could be your doughter. She is related to youby a common humanity.
Your outrage and action could change her life.
You have the power to open her cage.

stop sex slavery

Scrawl this like graffiti on every cage in Kamathipura. Spray it on the face of the nation."

a rhythmic chaos!

Im here - and am loving it. the sights and sounds- the beauty of each life - the color is stunning, and the amount of traffic (of cars) is crazy and quite an adventure to speed through in a motor rick-shaw. today we were driving with a very crazy driver and nearly crashed several times. to take a shortcut and save a few seconds we went right into on coming traffic swerving here and there... the best part is, it is nearly normal and the drivers merely swerved around us and with a few honks. some footage has been taken if you don't believe. :)
we also saw some camels walking along the roadside today.
we spent two days in Mumbai - a city of around 19 million people! talking to people, learning about various anti-trafficking (of humans) movements in the city and around the country. We walked through some buildings where prostitution happens, but where the women actually live, and often are called out to other brothels or dance clubs. we walked through saturday afternoon, and kids were running through the dirty narrow hallways, as the girls and women were preparing food for dinner. we were there with a group of women from a church down the street, and were inviting people to church. It was incredibly sad, and yet there were beautiful smiles, and i could just see their eyes shining with a hope not yet lost. we sang happy birthday to one of the women and prayed for her and her son. and we prayed over another little one who had tear stained mascara on her little 3 year old face. heart breaking. maddening. as I walked by and turned a corner, ducking under laundry a guy asked "how much??" and i just kept walking. but these women? this is their "profession" day and night they cannot just walk away.
Nika and I are praying and asking God for His vision for redemption- and he has been giving us pieces of that, and what's exciting is he is giving the vision to those who are working in India as well! We spent a few hours talking with Visu - and his work among the poor, and those who are in slavery. and he understands the need to tackle the deeper systems- and to find solutions out of the box. It was exciting for all of us to see how God is spreading his plan across the world- and using his people to step up to action!
many more stories to tell, and things to share, but it is very late and my roommates are probably wishing i would stop typing on this loud key board!
I may be able to write more tomorrow! Thank you SO much for your prayers and support! I think of you friends and family often! :)
Danyawab - means thank you in Hindi.

blessings!
sarah

off to India!

Well this is it - bags are packed - last minutes things are coming together - calls and visits to say goodbye... and in a few hours we'll be heading to the airport after a prayer send off at the Emmanuel Gospel Center.

Im excited! and will be updating this blog when i can - hopefully sharing glimpses of the adventure of india.

thank you for your prayers and support!

remain in the Joy of His grace!

I will leave you with this quote a friend shared with me as i was preparing to go:

“At times we need to know that the Lord is a God of justice. When slumbering giants of injustice emerge in the earth, we need to know that there is a God of power who can cut them down like the grass and leave them withering like the green herb. When our most tireless efforts fail to stop the surging sweep of oppression, we need to know that in this universe is a God whose matchless strength is a fit contrast to the sordid weakness of man. But there are also times when we need to know that God possesses love and mercy. When we are staggered by the chilly winds of adversity and battered by the raging storms of disappointment and when through our folly and sin we stray into some destructive far country and are frustrated because of a strange feeling of homesickness, we need to know there is Someone who loves us, cares for us, understands us, and will give us another chance. When days grow dark and nights grow dreary, we can be thankful that our God combines in His nature a creative synthesis of love and justice which will lead us through life’s dark valley’s and into sunlit pathways of hope and fulfillment.” - MLK Jr.

cycles

She walks on the bus, loudly venting into her cell phone - striding purposefully to the back. As she brushes past me i can't help but notice her conversation - and along with everyone else on the bus, can't help overhearing every word. It seems she was talking about her kids...

"Its not like anyone really payed attention to them growing up. No one was calling to check on them. They didn't really have that, you know?" (she sounded almost annoyed)

"...But I had to yell at C the other day - all he wanted from his daddy was a present. M had to promise to get him something for him to talk. He would hardly even smile. He hardly talks. Its not like him at all. And S was my best student, but now - I don't know what's come over her - she's not doing well at all..."

She seemed angry, frustrated, annoyed.

Will yelling at your kids actually help anything? It sounds like maybe she worked and was away from home a lot of evenings/ nights- so they had to fend for themselves. Perhaps there are multiple fathers - at least one of them is in their life. But the kids have grown up with this pattern- and from the conversation are probably used to the tone of communication being high strung and always a hint of annoyance. Do they ever feel like they've succeeded? that someone believes in them? That they are loved?

As I got up and walked away from the bus I mumbled under my breath - Its a cycle ma'am. They need to know they are loved and cared for - and that you believe in them. I thought through these questions I wanted to ask her as I walked over the snow towards home - Have you told your daughter that she was your best student? Did you ever shower her with praise? Did you tell your son how much you love him? Reacting to their learned behaviors with anger will further alienate - and that is how kids end up spiraling into "at risk" situations - looking for attention, for belonging, for love in all the wrong places when they don't get it from home and family. Picking up weapons for power, drugs for forgetting, getting in trouble for people to notice them. Or, listening to the much older guy who says "you're pretty - come along with me and i'll show you a good time" - and freedom is stolen. Where dignity and self esteem is lacking, other things try to fill that void - and those looking to take advantage of the weak shower down promises - ultimately crushing away life.

I hope that mother never has to face the pain of seeing her child hurt and exploited, or turn to hurt others - i hope the cycle will be broken some how.

this is just one story of so many...

to live an unpreserved life

"...it is in dying that one lives. It is in losing one's life that he finds it. You must never fear dying, my little friend, because fear of dying leads one to all sorts of futile and demonic attempts to preserve life. And life simply cannot be preserved"

- what the wind said to Thajir

To live fully is not to preserve life. Not to horde and scringe and save. Not even to be comfortable or safe, really. What does it look like to live fully? To live generously and joyfully for God's kingdom? to rest and be filled up, and to pour out again - all in one motion sometimes, or in seasons? when am i most rested refreshed, rejuvenated? Painting and drawing, being by the ocean, talking with a close friend, laughing about ridiculous things. Beauty. Nature. Life. Calm. gentle. inspirational places and people - a sense of abandonment to God's purpose and plan - understanding His agenda - His adventure - the beauty of the backwards. The lowly confounding the wise. The simple, small treasures in common ordinary things. The unlooked for glimpse into paradise. This takes time, and eyes not too tired, busy or stressed to see. I think when i get stressed and busy I loose sight of these things and that drains me.

Where is hope if not in the little surprising things where is victory, but in the places you wouldn't notice?! Yet hope is there - it grows and glistens - wanting to shine out but needing to first be seen and recognized. Its nature is humble - not timid but cautious- and it laughs at our plans and agendas. It dances around our ideas - creating new avenues where hope was never seen or expected to appear.

How then do we remain on the look out? how do we avoid missing these glimpses of hope, light and victory? how do we listen for the sounds of joy? the smells of peace?

stress dims vision. don't be stressed

Worry distracts. Don't worry.

Business runs you by too fast to see. Don't be busy.

Fear is blinding. Do not fear!

open your eyes and look around, slow the pace, take time to be still - and cast all your cares on the Lord Christ. He who is the foundation - the lifespring - of all love, joy, peace, hope and ultimately victory!

"the light shines in the darkness - and the darkness will not overcome it!"

Peace in the midst of darkness

I brought canvases and some paint into the "classroom" for Bridging the Gap last week, to paint with the kids before promise group, and then the christmas party. I thought it would be a good idea to have the kids paint what PEACE looked like to them - what did it make them think of, or see? Most of the kids got the idea, though i had to explain it multiple times as they continued to trickle into the room. One painted a scene from the beach in Jamaica, one painted a picture of a "benjamin" saying "its all about the money" and one sat in his own sort of world through the hour, painting and using charcoal - creating quite an impressive, although a bit offsetting piece of art.

There were large splotches of dull colors of green and black and grey with words such as "confusion" "anger" "depressed" and then in the midst of them all, sort of off in a corner was the peace sign.

As i watched, and thought about it for a bit, I realized, isn't that what Christmas is all about? it is about peace - the prince of peace - entering into the midst of fear and anger and darkness and confusion... oppressive rule, poverty, genocide. Jesus was born into this broken world, and he brought light and hope - not completely eliminating the darkness... yet. His plan this time around is beyond my understanding. All i know is he walked among the broken, the sick and the needy. And I think if we want to find him today, to find where he is "arriving" - it is in that same spot. We probably don't have to look far - not even beyond ourselves to find brokenness. But there are others hurting, and needs far greater where we can go and join in the work of redemption that Jesus is doing here now - and the ultimate victory WILL come one day.

check out this post for Advent written today - along a similar vein: http://cotcboston.org/advent/2010/12/23/day-26-christmas-carol-undone-by-sam-albertson

I have been thinking about this for some time. Entering the darkness is hard, yet it is where we find Jesus at work - we find we are given the privilege of being his hands and feet! and we find the enemy is not happy! He would much rather us keep running into "safe" winter wonderland scenes... forgetting the real, hands dirty with down-to-earth love and mercy that Christmas truly is about!

Merry Christmas! Emmanuel - God with us!