My girls

He's gonna take my girls
My babies
If I do or say anything against him
What he wants goes
That's just the bottom line

Housing, food, presence
Where is he?
He said no. Don't like the neighborhood.
So I turn down the 3bedroom
No.
I'm living at my grandma's
He is couch surfing with friends
He asks for money, so I give it. And more. And more.
Til I i need to ask grandma for some money for milk.
And is he working?
No.
Every month.
I can't say no.

"nooo don't tell daddy!"
They are scared of him too
I'm surprised grandma hasn't strangled him!
But dont you dare say anything against him!
He's my man.

He is all I've got. Right? I love him... Don't I? He wants me, doesn't he? I matter?

I do what he says because we are in a relationship!
...And he threatens to take away my girls.
forever.
I can't live with that.
They need a mommy.
They need a daddy!

This is what I've got. Don't tell me to change. Him or me - I can't.
No.
What he sayes goes. That's just the bottom line.

----
This is my friend's granddaughter's story. My friend (the grandma) is grieving, angry, frustrated - what can she do?! Its so hard.

thoughts on Networking

Thoughts from a counter human trafficking network strategy "bridgebuilder"  
(written on my iphone en rout from Boston to San Jose CA) 

Networking: 

1. It is about Building relationships!

2. The Process/journey is more important than the outcome

3. Listen and learn!!!

4. Sometimes you need something to offer before someone will talk to you. "how do I benefit personally?" perhaps wait on talking to those people for a while.
(Though, you will be surprised how easy it is to find a "value add" in what you do. Helping spread the word about an event they have coming up to your network, or introducing a valuable volunteer to them when you have learned of a need. Note: be extremely careful with introductions and information sharing once you have gathered someones info and are working to gain trust. )

5. Sometimes when you meet with someone you can get going on just one small shared passion... And the relationship takes off. Learn and listen.
Write things down! It's amazing how quickly information will leave your mind when you walk away from a meeting. Pay attention to other people's contact info. Other organizations to follow up with. Upcoming events to go to or pass the word about.

6. Ask good questions - but to know what questions to ask, first you need to listen to the needs. Start picking up on bits and pieces of the story- then press in deeper.
Where are they excited? What frustrates them? What do they love? What could be better about... (be specific whenever possible)

7. Sometimes you need to convince an organization of the ways they benefit before they join into any sort of relationship... Bonus that it benefits everyone and the greater mission! (shhh don't tell)

8. This is why I tend to start on a personal relationship level- not organizational. People change jobs, but their core passions remain and if this is connected into the network and the larger vision, in the end you will last longer and influence the systems more holistically. People will draw others along in what they are passionate about. If they see how the vision helps them and others, they will want to join.
Then those organizations who just care about their own mission won't want to be left out! That would hurt them.

9. Go to them. People are at ease and the most themselves and willing to share when they are in their comfort zone. Their space. Their territory. Don't just stand there and call everyone to you. Get out into the community. Get your hands dirty. Volunteer. Help out at things. Go to people's events. Care about what they care about and begin to learn the gaps and needs.
No, you don't do this only to get them to come to your events and meetings in the future... But it does help :)

10. Diversity is important! Don't just hang out with people who think and act and shop like you! Gather a diverse leadership team around you. Listen to them. Learn from them. Your perspective is just one small piece of the whole.
Think about factors of meeting time and space:

• location (public transit available? Parking? Off the beaten path? Downtown?)
• time of day - durning work, after work, on weekends?
• dress code?
• food? Price point?
• some feel comfortable in a board room, some in a basement of a bar. Who is your target Audience? Everyone? Maybe pick and chose for particular events, then have some with the express point of building bridges... Will take extra effort.
• Be aware of language, vocabulary, religious rhetoric, alcohol... Listen to Where people are coming from.
• Pay attention to Gender balance and diverse racial and ethnic communities.
• Is translation available? Sign language? Wheelchair accessible!?

11. As things start taking shape work together in casting vision. Be willing to shift and adjust. But do set some goals. Work out a mission and vision for the network. Answer the question "why should I connect in and participate with my time and resources?"

12. How do you store and track contact information?

• google docs are awesome. I have a master list that I keep updating, then I have it broken down by categories of job title, relationship to the network and events where I met people.
• input business cards into the google doc (or excel spreadsheet) as soon as possible. Those cards are just looking for the first opportunity to get lost!
• Create a google doc for meetings you have. Record information that you can easily search and go back to later.
• store notes from meetings in a central location/file that you can easily search.
• spend time processing information from meetings and find ways to share what you are learning to benefit others (I'm still working on this)

13. Tips on setting up meetings:

• set aside times in your week for meetings- both to learn from, and those looking to learn from you. Don't be afraid to give specific days and times you are available. Your schedule is just as valid as theirs. (so don't schedule over times of rest and self care!! (me))
• Be sure to then set aside time for follow up. A meeting is only as helpful to you and the network as the information you are able to capture and share, and the extent to which you can maintain the relationship.
• go to where they are... But when possible, sometimes it works to set up meetings one after the other at the same cafe or office and have people come to you (I haven't had much success with this, but my co-director Audrey was a pro!)
• This works best for meetings with folks who are requesting time with you. They are looking for information on how to get involved, or research for a school project. In these meetings you have more say in when and where to meet, and it's ok to utilize that for making the most of your time. Traveling between Meetings can take up your whole day! So be strategic! But, again, it is extremely valuable to take the extra time and make the effort to go to those who you are seeking to learn from.

So recap- "when you request, acquiesce, when they request it's ok to rest" (haha, I just made that up)

14. Always be ready for surprises!

Remember, as a networker, or "bridgebuilder" you are not responsible to fix the whole problem! You are just one piece. A very important piece - helping listen intently to the system's needs and help interpret the landscape in ways people in different communities can understand and find their place. You help plug people into the movement using their unique gifts and talents and applying their passions. You help to create spaces for people and organizations to come together, learn from eachother and improve their strategies and effectiveness.
I believe there is One who is at work beyond the brokenness we see now, that there is a Hope that goes deeper than the darkness, and God, this Hope, is weaving together an enormous tapestry that we can't even imagine. God has the master, brautiful plan- We are but one thread, and have been invited into the process of creating alongside God. Amazingly wonderful mystery isn't it?!

Let's continue to press on in building these bridges! Trusting the master weaver to bring it all together. In the end light will shine in the darkness and the darkness will not overcome it.


Sent from my iPhone

bound as givers

As followers of Jesus we give up ownership of this world
of stuff
of our requirements,
our measures of success.
accomplishments.
making it.
We give this all up. We are not bound to this world as "getters" but as "givers". We will lay down our lives - give all - for another.
We are not disconnected and merely waiting for heaven - No! we surrender all we have and all we are to be used as God leads us - our heart's blood intricately connected to the pain and sorrow of this world,  committed to living out the hope and joy we have in Jesus- even to following him to the cross.
So it is a burden, yet a release of a burden.
We release the pressure of success for this world, recognizing that our purpose is about something so much bigger than us. It is about God and what he is doing, not merely our own lives and personal happiness.

"We will not give up. And when we die, then we die pure and peaceful, resigned to God in our hearts." - Maximilian Kolbe
 Maximilian volunteered to die in the place of another prisoner at his concentration camp in Germany, and led the other prisoners who had been randomly selected to be shot in singing hymns and praise while they waited for their death)

I want to live like this. Ready to lay down my life, purposeful and excited to live it for the days i have.

perhaps more on this later... but thats it for now. feel free to leave comments/ questions/ thoughts

I matter

Im ready. we're going to make some money.
everybody thinks im so young. that i can't do anything. But He believes in me.
Im fast, and despite the fact that most of the big stores recognize me and kick me out when i come close, i still do pretty well shop lifting.
He doesn't have to worry. I'll follow through.
My cousin has the job set up, and she sticks to what she says. she aint on drugs or anything like that.
He reminds me to smile - gosh, of course i know that. Im no spring chicken. Yeah im 15, but i know the ropes now.
I can contribute my fair share. He doesn't have to work so hard tomorrow if we pull this off. If i can please this guy. well, hopefully just one. I hate it when im surprised by a whole group of them.
but im strong.
He says he just wants a real job again. I don't remember, but he tells me he used to work for a Taxi company in Quincy. They hate his guts now, and owe him $300.00. bummer.
Geeze he's talking so loud, and we're on the T.
This girl next to us has her buds in, but i wonder if she's hearing him joking about lifting the widescreen TV? Oh well. who cares. Play it cool. Its not like she would do anything about it anyway. What could she do?
Im sick and tired of caring what other people think.
Can't I be treated like everyone else? I just want to matter. I want to belong. I want to be seen as worth something.
But tonight i guess i am worth something. I'll be making him some money. maybe it will help out my family too.
Here's our stop. I guess we'll see what happens.

I overheard a young girl talking with an older guy on the T the other day... i don't know the story, but without a lot of imagination, this is my interpretation of what may have been going on in her head. Sad how many girls are in this same place. 
How are we going to respond?!

Who's loving..?

Hear the cry of the broken

Even when “they” are hurting the other

Perpetrators, deemed evil, they cry out against the status quo. The molds they are put in as troublemakers.. juvies.. inmates. Dropouts

What choice do they have?

Who hears them?

Who loves them?

Trapped in a world where the weak link is gunned down. Resisting the violence is cowardice.

Money is power and power is survival. It’s a game. A very real and present game.

“Im tired of bein’ poor and even worse im black. 

My stomach hurts, so im lookin’ for a purse to snatch”

Their instinct is to protect the ones they care about

They’d die

They’d kill

But who is it they care about protecting?

Who’s their family? Who cares for them?

Where are they accepted?

The drug lord listened to me

He gave me a purpose

I mattered – to someone

This gang - I was part of a family who stood up for me. Who relied on me.

Our lives were intertwined – living, dying, revenging, life is short.

Get what you can, while you can. Im in the game. I can prove my worth. But there’s more than this!

Im trapped in a web of promises, threats, deals and fears.

No backing out – but going where?

We are family but no trust

Manipulation

Lies

What do words mean? Emotions?

What is love?

Im tired!

Listen to the cry 2pac cries- 

“ohhh… tired of the strain and the pain! There’s so much pain!”

“Even as a youngster causin- ruckus on the back of the bus

I was a fool all through high school kickin’ up dust

Bust now im labeled as a trouble maker who can you blame?

Smoking weed helped me take away the pain

So im hopeless rollin’ down the freeway swerving, don’t worry

Im about to crash up on the crub cause my visions blurry

Maybe if they tried to understand me, what should I do?

 Had to feed my f***n’ family, what else could I do

but be a thug”

2Pac gives voice to our youths' heart cries.

Church are we listening?

God’s heart breaks to see his kids forced into these cages of violence and despair

Maybe if we tried to understand them?

Truly see the pain they are in

Just stop and listen

Listen past the four letter words

The drugs and tattoos that mask, the weapons that blockade

Listen through the tough skin of hopelessness

I long to see freedom from this bondage

Reconciliation with those used and exploited, to a life lived for justice, mercy, and joy in hope!

Life valued – in themselves and others

Named

Given place and belonging in community

Loved and loving

cry and sing of Hope

Hope

Race, privilege - authenticity? Belonging? Permission to grieve?
Who am I who has so much, who am I to cry?
 I cry hearing the pain of my sister
 I have not lived it
 I chose to give up what I can easily choose to take back. Rankism.
My education, my family network opens many doors others cannot access.
But I cry for that reality to change.
Can my cry be a trumpet blast in halls of complacency?

Can the cry of a middle class white girl on behalf of the sad broken state of our justice system, our schools, our neighborhoods and families, be heard and deemed lagitament?
 Does it matter of they are?
I think so, but then I wonder, by who?

My friend is being sold. Abused. Exploited!!
No, I am not.
I have never been raped or molested, but my friend, my sister, has and is and This Must Stop!
I carry so many stories in my heart and they are heavy.

I cry out with a cry of empathy
No, I will never fully understand
So I will not try to be your voice but rather sound the trumpet, shake the ground,
open the cages of systems holding you back,
usher you into the doors I can, and then You cry out Your song of lament,
of truth,
and together we proclaim the song of hope.

"injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere"

If I see the injustice done against you and say nothing, what is that?
If I weep, not on my own behalf but for what is happening to you, am I not showing you I care? That I wish there was some other reality? That I wonder why you and not me and I am sorry for my privilege?

And I do weep on my own behalf in sorrow, regret, appology for what I - my race, my religion and my country have done.
 What my government has done and fails to do, what my Church has done and fails to do.
I am part of the problem.
I am so sorry.

But I hear the rumblings of another way possible- in the cry and lament, imagining there must be something better
Do you hear it?
The low, steady heartbeats of hope reverberating in my spirit and yours, calling towards harmony!?
It rises
And I know I must not keep silence!
I invite you to join me in my weeping and my obstinate hope.
Let me not tell your story for you, label or forget you in my rush to sound the trumpet.
You and I together - we will cry and sing of hope.

cry

John Perkins was with us for a few days at the Center For Reconciliation Summer Institute at Duke Divinity. His last night, he shared at evening worship. I wrote this later that night, reflecting back to why i was overwhelmed with a deep sadness and crying as he finished and stepped off the stage. It was a powerful moment in a powerful, challenging, inspiring week.
here are my reflections:

Cry
Tears welled up in my eyes as he, choking back tears quoted "...i'll fly away!"
A life lived for Justice
sold out for all God would do in and through him
nearing the end and excited, sad, thankful, tearful
leaving us.
Passing the baton...
But can we carry this on?
A spark reignited
strengthened
My heart leaps to the call
is hungry for more
Don't go!
The brokenness is so vast
so dark
the weight is crushing and tears flow down my cheeks
I am willing to be used
I long to be used
but i feel i am pressed down
blown out
wet blankets come flying from... where?
damp
dark
heavy
why?
I know I've been called, but i feel numb

But then slow and steady, low and gravely, "I know why the caged bird sings..."
A life lived to the fullness of God's glorious, challenging, painful calling to beloved community speaks fire into my heart and awakens my soul again.
The pain crushes but i feel.
I weep.
The hope we are striving towards is real
It can hurt
and cost our lives
But this is the Hope
Surprised by reconciliation
an interruption
an inconvenience?!
Struck by beauty
by sacrifice
by inspiration and a flame restored.
I cry but i rejoice to know
Reconciliation to what end?
Dancing in hope together against injustice.
"The caged bird sings... of freedom."