purpose.

more thoughts written on my phone...Jan. 8, 2012. sitting in a coffee shop in Boston.

I sit and watch out the window- the city go by. 

Where is this thing called purpose? An arm to hold? Somewhere to go faster then the others on the sidewalk? Handsfree headsets, texting, music blaring, checking the weather, stocks or what's for dinner. 

When you stop does it stop? If you sit and rest what happens? Has purpose flown away? Do you lose your grip? Or is it in the pause, in the quiet that you catch a glimpse of meaning? Deeper than the spinning pace of the sidewalk journeys- more than another person or what newsfeeds feed you through your phone.  

What is it? This reason for being this motivation, this passion? 

Created. Called. 

Purpose. 

thoughts come slowly

wrote this on my phone about a week ago... still feeling similarly these days. tired, stuffy, hard to process...

Thoughts come slowly
Haltingly
A mixture of determination and resigning- tired. Done. But knowing there is so much yet to do.
Can I curl up and cry?! There is no end to the dark, twisted, evil - the death, abuse and destruction of all that is beautiful. Sometimes it seems hope is lost. Shriveled. Minds are too busy with their gadgets and games. Work is too stressful, life has no room for...living.
For seeing the other- reaching out a hand to touch. To care. To help.
So the darkness spreads and what can be done?
One small blade of grass pushes up through the asphalt towards the sun.

I feel like I'm choking on passion to see things change.
To what? How? Where do we go from here?!

I feel like theres so much dark and so much hopeless so much sickness so much tired so much scared. Where is the life? Where is hope? Where is light?! If it's not in the church, where is it!? If it's not us, who is it?!

thoughts from Christmas eve 2011

catching up on some thoughts and writings... here's some notes i wrote out on my phone Christmas Eve:

The word, the light, the hope the joy comes among us. 

Quietly, secretly, to nowhere and nobodys

Light shines in the darkness. Do we know this light? What are we doing with it? Through it? Do we hide it?

All over the world people are gathering to remember the birth if this baby son of God. Is it understood? Has the darkness understood? Out on the streets people are cold. Where is there heart ache? Where is there brokenness? Where is there cold, sick and despair? 

The way to God is by going low. Get down and see him. He came down. 

Where does he call home?