fires of racism, burning churches

Racism?

Religious oppression? 

Hate crimes? 

Terrorism? 

A few weeks back everyone was talking about this. the shootings in Charleston, the burning of churches... now things have shifted to the confederate flag, and the shooting in TN, and many other sad happenings in our nation and world. 
But, back a few weeks ago as I was processing all i was hearing and reading, I saw a meme, that spoke to the riots in Ferguson, showing a picture of a looted CVS noting all of the weeks of media attention, and then a picture of one of the burned churches saying "silence".

The point of the meme was that no one is caring that "Christians are being persecuted"... but, I honestly do not believe that is what is happening. The shooting in Charleston, and the burning of churches that followed are acts of violent, hate filled, oppressive racism.
This got me thinking...

CVS destroyed and protests in the streets was against "us"... 
("Us" being the majority culture, white culture) 
The destroying of the black churches is uniquely solely against "them"... 
("Them" being non-white, minority culture)

There is nothing as completely identified with the African American community, identity, strength and unity under oppression, as the black churches. It is far more than a place of religious identity and practice. 
Burning these African American churches burns what these structures have stood for, as a place of gathering and safety for their community from the world around them that sadly is still so hostile. During the days of legalized slavery these meetings to worship were hidden and secret. No, not because the slave owners didn't want them to worship Jesus... The slave owners more often than not called themselves "Christians" and went to church, white church... it was because this gathering to worship and pray was also an act of unity in identity and culture and remembering history that was threatening to the white slave owners. The African American church today still holds depth of cultural identity. I write these thoughts as a white women, and here is a quote sharing similar thoughts from  NAACP President Cornell William Brooks:

"The NAACP’s Brooks noted that for centuries, black churches have served as the “epicenter of survival for many in the African-American community,” which has historically made them a target of violence. “We will use every tool in our advocacy arsenal to preserve these beloved institutions.”
Muse also noted that black churches have been a very important part of black history, including their vital role as the epicenter of the civil rights movement. “They’re a place where people go to worship, do community service, care for the sick and weary,” he said. “It’s more than a house of worship to the black community. It’s a cultural and social institution and we take [things like this] very personally.” Why we should pay attention to the 7 Black Churches that have burned

Perhaps this is hard to believe, perhaps if you are majority culture like me, you want to believe this is all in the past and now we value eachother equally, but sadly the hostility and prejudice has not gone away. 

There still remains the sinful destructive belief in our culture that one person or group of people is better than, more deserving than, valued higher than, another.  

No, not everyone intentionally believes this or acts on this belief. There are varying skin tones in all economic spheres, but it's not hard to tell when you look at a few statistics, that the disparity and inequality still exists.
Many have rightly warned, "just because we have a president with darker skin tones, doesn't mean we have solved racism and that it is now just a problem of the past"
This is all too apparent today.
No, we have not solved the inequality. We have not solved the fear, the entitlement, the anger, the prejudice (pre-judgement) due to a person's skin tone or, even more subtle but true, their economic status.
There is a deep sadness felt across our nation by our African American brothers and sisters. I don't wonder many are angry. I am actually amazed at the overwhelming response from the African American community of forgiveness, and "non-violent" determination to rebuild, heal, and move forward together. My heart is grieved. 
brothers and sisters, let us not just move on to the next sad news story. Let us honestly come together in prayer and repentance for all the sin and brokenness in our own hearts, and in our communities. Let us work towards healing and restoration. 
This is not easy. but we must not keep silent. 

Prayer vigil at the Cambridge City Hall on friday after the shootings in Charleston SC

Chalk art creations with neighbors and random strangers on my street soon after the shootings. 

Good Friday thoughts on Shawmut Ave

"The one who hung the earth upon the waters : today he is hung upon a cross" 

- Common Prayer, a liturgy for ordinary radicals  

GoodFriday by Josh Garrels

Friday around noon, the procession from The Cathedral of the Holy Cross came down my street and by my front door. 

I got a text from my housemate Cathi that they were coming, so i opened the door, with my cup of tea, and there, saw Jesus, bent under the weight of the cross, struggling down the street. Long dark hair, dark skin, rough linen robe, roman soldiers were yelling and whipping and there were others with small cross bars, struggling along side. They turned down Shawmut ave, and came towards me. A crowd followed yelling "crucify him!!" over and over and over... angry, mob. there were the chief priests and Pharisees talking together on the side, walking, dignified, long robes flowing and long beards

The street is cleared of cars from street cleaning on this side. 

people are filming, and taking pictures along the way with their ipads and cameras. 

I reach into my pocket to get my phone- Yes, my first thought is wow- i want to capture this moment and share it. 

spectator 

when i try to take a picture, A notice comes up - my pictures are full. The processing is going by - and i see the back of Jesus bent under the cross head around the corner. The soldiers with their robes and helmets are yelling and whipping. I am overwhelmed with a sense of sorrow for just being a "bystander" wanting to get a picture... and wondering if i had lived 2000 years ago, where would i have been? what would i have been doing? would i just be watching? The fear and intimidation of the occupying Roman forces would im sure have scared me from trying to do anything to help Jesus as he stumbled by, though maybe? maybe i would have come alongside Mary and wept with her and held her hand and shuffled alongside behind the crowds who have been swept up into this mob yelling "crucify him! Crucify him! He must die" No- do they know what they are saying? These same men and women were fed by his miracles, weren't they? amazed at the healing, his words of wisdom. Why this anger and blood thirsty excitement?! Is it sport? is it just drama? Is it just something we take a picture of and post on facebook? A good newsfeed? Intstagram it with a cool filter. 

Heartbreaking confusion, anguish, fear, why is this happening to the Lord? to Jesus? this one who came from Nazareth, born down in Bethlehem, this one who has shown us such love and compassion, and has opened up the Word and presence of God in such amazing ways. Jesus- why??? Why are they doing this to you? 

all this for me...?... yes. 

the procession passes by, with police cars taking up the rear, with their lights flashing, and as the last echos of "crucify him!!" fade away down the street i hear the ice cream truck's little jingle song playing in the distance. 

what a crazy world. 

----

later that day...

Good Friday service at South End neighborhood Church, combined with 3 or 4 other churches, English, Spanish, Amharic, and a few other languages represented in singing, prayers, testimonies, and looking at the last 7 words of Jesus from the cross. 

1) "Father Forgive them, for they know not what they are doing" (Luke 23:34)  Forgiveness: from Pastor C of SENCE, sharing that he is only able to fathom forgiving the man who shot and killed his son a few months ago, because of God in him, God's love and power. 

2) "today you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:43) From Pastor Jose Flores, sharing that this criminal had NOTHING to offer Jesus, he was about to die, and all he asked was to be remembered. not to be forgiven or saved, but remembered. He is not any further away, or closer to jesus than anyone else. we all have this same chance to come to Jesus, to ask to be remembered.

3) "Dear woman, here is your son" (john 19:26) A member of the Ethiopian church (emmanuel disciples church) shared the awe - we cannot fully understand what Jesus did for us- his divine blood covers us and frees us, and we don't know what He was meaning when he said this to Mary, but maybe he was saying "it will be ok - I am fulfilling the Father's will". How heartbreaking for Mary to see this pain. 

4) "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me!?" (Matt 27:46) Pastor Workneh Tesfaye from EDC shared that life is full of "Whys" and many questions, but we must follow Jesus example, and finish our "whys" in submission to the Father's will

5) "I am thirsty" (John 19:28) Carmen Barrientos from SENCE and Iglesia Communidad shared about Jesus' full humanity, and even to being thirsty. Remember the story of the Samaritan women? He asked her for a drink, and then also told her, that if she knew who he was she would be asking him for a drink, and he would give her living waters. He asked for a drink, while he was hanging there on the cross, to fulfill the scriptures, because he was tired and thirsty, and also perhaps to remind us - to ask him for a drink, to be thirty for him, and for the living waters that his death and resurrection provide for us. 

6) "It is finished" (john 19:30) Pastor Lowell Bowler from Dorchester Baptist Church asked the question "what was finished"?? Our debt was paid in full. done. complete. there is nothing we can add, or need to add. But out of the love in our hearts for Jesus, we want to serve and give our life to him.

7) "Father, into your hands i commit my spirit" (luke 23:46) Pastor Neal from SENCE shared again that Jesus submitted to the Father, he gave up his life willingly- it wasn't taken or forced, it was his love for us that held him there, and this is what brings us life and salvation. 

Thankful. 

I am so blessed to be a part of this community! 

We all circled around the large wooden cross, that was taken down from the wall and Nate held it up in the middle of the room. prayers and songs, and crying out to Jesus, thanking him for what he has done for us. 

Hallelujah!!  

---

After service I found out my friend Darla passed away that day. I've known her for several years, as she has struggled with homelessness and alcoholism, and come in and out of prostitution. She used to come over for tea on mondays, or stop by for a shower randomly, and would stay over night now and again. Once i helped dye her hair here in the bathroom. she liked to have jet black hair, and wanted to get rid of the grey that kept persisting. We did a pretty good job i think, and didn't make too much of a mess :) 

She had crazy unique rings on her fingers, often wore big clunky work boots, and was quick to laugh, even in the midst of the darkest seasons. Im going to miss you Darla. I gave her a pencil sketch of a girl with her face looking up into the rain when she had a place a while back here in the South End. As soon as she saw it in my room one night she identified with it, and felt it was a picture of her. I wonder what ever happened to that. 

Im sorry Darla... I wish there was a different ending. I trust that Jesus is holding you today though, that you are finally home, that you have finally found what you've been looking for all this time. The systems, the friends and families, even the churches of this world failed you in so many ways... But Jesus will never leave you or forsake you. I know you believe in him, and called out to him throughout your life. I trust that he has brought you home.  

"there in the ground, his body lay: Light of the world by Darkness slain..." 

but this is not the end...

my sister Jade

So, here's a little story - a glimpse into a one life, one of my girls:

Last night as i was making my way back into the city from speaking up on the north shore i was biking down tremont st (around 10:30pm). As I pass Park St, and the Blackseed cafe and St Pauls and down to the Lowes Theater, i always scan the sidewalks, steps, and roadside curbs for friends of mine who are struggling with homelessness and often hang out around there. I especially look out for my friend Jade. She is one of my "sisters" here in Boston. She has almost the same hair as i do, and except for the dark eye make up we really look very similar. Ive known her for about a year now i think. She struggles with addiction to alcohol and some drugs, and she doesn't like the rules and "stuff" at the shelters so she basically sticks to the streets. She is about 23 years old. Her mom passed away a few months back. Her boyfriend is in prison. She wants to be an advocate for the homeless, for the abused. To stand up for her rights and others who can't speak up for themselves. She doesn't trust people. she is angry. She wants to move to california... someday. 

So, as i was biking down the street i saw something out of the corner of my eye that made me think perhaps Jade was there around the corner, so i crossed the street and got off my bike and went to check. Yep, it was Jade, swearing loudly to a friend of hers that she doesn't F'n believe in a god that can let child molesters and rapists go free... roaming around hurting people. its just not right. how can God allow this??! "They let these rapists get out of prison and go into the shelters and abuse us! No body cares!" 

I walked up and gave her a hug. 

I said quietly, "you know that breaks His heart... that breaks God's heart" 

"I don't F'n care! I don't believe in an F'n god that allows that. Its so good to see you!"

"oh, no i mean the fact that there is molestation and abuse and rape happening, breaks God's heart. He is wanting to use us - you and me to do something about it!"

"oh i am! Im helping with a documentary, and helping organize a sit in up at the capitol to let people know...I am an advocate, I stand up for my rights. My sign there. Its a statement. a political statement" 

I look down at her cardboard sign taped together laying on the sidewalk and written in black sharpie it says "Please don't ask me to move. I don't want to Prostitute. This is my first amendment right to panhandle" (see the attached picture. I asked if i could take it to share and help spread the word) 

She told me about how the police tell her to move on- that "Stemming" or "panhandling" isn't allowed. but, as she says "what would you rather me do? Isn't this better then sell drugs or selling my A**??" I don't want to prostitute, i've done that and... no... i don't want to. 

ahh... my heart screams out - NO, please don't! and everyone in the city, can't you see how this is driving her to desperation? police officers, can't you help her rather than just shove her aside?! but i don't really say much - just nod in affirmation of her statement, of her sign. yet the right to panhandling wherever you want is not the answer either of course. a few bucks an hour, going to more booze and candy is not helpful here.

I watch her stuff while she goes over to the commons to pee in a cup. (there are no public restrooms around the commons that the homeless can access freely) she feels to ashamed to ask for the key at the Blackseed when she isn't buying anything. she didn't want me to get something. So, she leaves with her cup, and i stand with her stuff... and the sign there on the ground by my feet, and talk with her friend - i think his name is Daren. people walk by, glancing at the sign, at me, at us. confused. maybe? or maybe they don't really notice. I turn invisible amazing how easy it is. To be invisible. Ive never really understood why people want that as a super power. 

anyway - Jade returns and we chat for a bit more about ending child abuse and discrimination and then i give her some fire drops (thanks mom) and a Lara Bar (had to sneak that in her bag, she hates taking stuff from friends) and i give her a few hugs, and let her know she is in my prayers. Sisters. 

thanks for joining me in prayer for Jade. For safety, for a good network of supportive people around her where she can begin to build trust, and that Jesus will lovingly woo her to Himself. 

goodnight! 

sarah

thoughts come slowly

wrote this on my phone about a week ago... still feeling similarly these days. tired, stuffy, hard to process...

Thoughts come slowly
Haltingly
A mixture of determination and resigning- tired. Done. But knowing there is so much yet to do.
Can I curl up and cry?! There is no end to the dark, twisted, evil - the death, abuse and destruction of all that is beautiful. Sometimes it seems hope is lost. Shriveled. Minds are too busy with their gadgets and games. Work is too stressful, life has no room for...living.
For seeing the other- reaching out a hand to touch. To care. To help.
So the darkness spreads and what can be done?
One small blade of grass pushes up through the asphalt towards the sun.

I feel like I'm choking on passion to see things change.
To what? How? Where do we go from here?!

I feel like theres so much dark and so much hopeless so much sickness so much tired so much scared. Where is the life? Where is hope? Where is light?! If it's not in the church, where is it!? If it's not us, who is it?!