cry

John Perkins was with us for a few days at the Center For Reconciliation Summer Institute at Duke Divinity. His last night, he shared at evening worship. I wrote this later that night, reflecting back to why i was overwhelmed with a deep sadness and crying as he finished and stepped off the stage. It was a powerful moment in a powerful, challenging, inspiring week.
here are my reflections:

Cry
Tears welled up in my eyes as he, choking back tears quoted "...i'll fly away!"
A life lived for Justice
sold out for all God would do in and through him
nearing the end and excited, sad, thankful, tearful
leaving us.
Passing the baton...
But can we carry this on?
A spark reignited
strengthened
My heart leaps to the call
is hungry for more
Don't go!
The brokenness is so vast
so dark
the weight is crushing and tears flow down my cheeks
I am willing to be used
I long to be used
but i feel i am pressed down
blown out
wet blankets come flying from... where?
damp
dark
heavy
why?
I know I've been called, but i feel numb

But then slow and steady, low and gravely, "I know why the caged bird sings..."
A life lived to the fullness of God's glorious, challenging, painful calling to beloved community speaks fire into my heart and awakens my soul again.
The pain crushes but i feel.
I weep.
The hope we are striving towards is real
It can hurt
and cost our lives
But this is the Hope
Surprised by reconciliation
an interruption
an inconvenience?!
Struck by beauty
by sacrifice
by inspiration and a flame restored.
I cry but i rejoice to know
Reconciliation to what end?
Dancing in hope together against injustice.
"The caged bird sings... of freedom."