Ignorance. Deliberation

Anger
Power
Ignorance
Deliberation
Abuse
Violence
Rape
Manipulation
Again and again
The cycle continues
Unseen
Why?
Ignorance
Deliberation
Look the other way
Question the source
Disbelief chosen
Shhh
It is your duty to stay
Be a good wife
Be a good mom
Be a good girl
Shhh
Secrets
Cover up the lies
The bruises
The unseen penetrations
The Deeper than physical
Words cut
Emotional tearing down
Spiritual covering? Domineering 
Dominance
Dominate
Domain
She's mine.
Be a good...
    Christian
You dragging God into this? What god do you know?!
To use as a means to control and abuse. To get her to do what you say.
You talk about Love
Love? What is this?
You need her... You want her... You say you love her

Ignorance
Deliberation
Controlling me like I'm some sort of property??
Is this love?!
Anger welling up
Explosions coming
God why?! What have I done?!
Words of comfort syrupy sweet one moment and the next im cringing
Crying
Yelling
Safety? Where?!
No one will listen
Where will I get help?
Ignorance!
Deliberation?
Places of "refuge" for the broken hiding the instruments used for breaking.
Hiding
Secrets
Shhh
They tell me
Don't destroy his (our) reputation
What would everybody say!?
You would slander God's name
You would hurt them... All those people
What about me? What about him!?
Manipulation.
they say, We can't really do anything
Its too messy
Figure it out
It's your issue
but keep the marriage together
You can't leave
Don't say anything
We don't want the cops involved
Don't want the state interfering
'Worship' continues as scheduled
Going through the motions
Lies and secrets
Fester and rot
Deeply rooted
Sickness spreads
The Church is sick
Dying
Love is twisted
And covered over.
Ignorance?
Deliberation!
Fear
darkness creeps in, takes a hold
We are sleeping
Ignorant? No.
Deliberately choosing not to notice the ugly, dark evil mess that has taken root among us
It effects us
We are guilty too
We must humble ourselves and repent. Turn from our wicked ways
Cry out for forgiveness
Jesus hear us!
Heal us!
May what is done in the darkness be brought to light!
Pull up the root!
It will hurt
Deep deep pain
Sickening
Shocking
We cannot be ignorant any longer
We chose to deliberately reveal the secrets
Light bursts into the darkness
Refreshing
burning
Cleansing
Waters rush through
Purify
Bring us to justice and wash us clean!
Renew us, your Church Lord
Forgive us.
We cry out

artist unknown. found in a 24/7 prayer room. My brother took the picture. 

cards, cows and mindsets

Nika and I have been traveling for 9 days now. We have seen and learned a lot. we have met some incredible people, wrestled through systems thinking processes like hexagonning and causal loop diagrams, tried new foods, enjoyed old favorites from the region...I remembered the Arabic alphabet after a while of reading signs in Dubai and taught Nika a few letters. Hindi completely left my brain though - but i still remember some words, now that we are in Delhi.

Dubai is like a house of cards... a glittering, polished (on the inside) house of cards. large buildings towering out of the sand. half finished construction stand like skeletons in the landscape. luxury cars buz around the streets. dust and sand blow and cloud the view. Where is the heart of the city? Im listening, but i don't hear it... im still, but i don't feel it against my cheek. life blood flowing? what is this city built on? business, money, clean? perhaps not.
Malls everywhere... going forever. shop after shop, indoor pedestrian only streets paved with marble weave through the city. People from all over the world meander. headscarvs, full burkas, Galabayas, Koftas, skinny jeans, stilettos, miniskirts... you see it all. Some women are fully covered, even their eyes covered with a black veil, and some women hardly had anything on at all. Meandering through the mall. Children running and playing. laughter. chatting, honeymoon couples, and old couples, teenagers hanging out after a school day.
what a crazy world.
Women are seen yet not seen. Violence against women is hidden and hushed up. "No it doesn't happen here".
The United Arab Emirates, controlled by the King, and the small percentage of emirates. power, wealth, control. Law enforcement, and government officials are all Emirates.
The rest of the country is made up of people from all over the world - mostly India. yet they are never allowed citizenship. merely work visas. subject to being kicked out at the will of the Government. If you don't have an adequate job, or studying in school you can't stay. You must work and contribute to the well-being of the country.
Trafficking? Exploitation? Yes it happens. Entertainment, prostitution. and Labor slavery as well. I wasn't sure how or if i would learn about what was happening with human trafficking in the Gulf, but on my last day there i talked with a friend who has a heart and passion to help women caught up in prostitution and those who are abused in the labor camps. What would this look like? How can she and her community help?
As I began to talk with her about various ideas I realized how incredibly blessed much of the world is - and specifically thinking about Boston - we have multiple hotline numbers to call if you are being abused/ raped/ exploited... the system isn't perfect, but there is a high chance the police will respond and will attempt to help you. Perhaps your story is not fully believed, but generally there is a care for the victim, connection with services, an attempt to prosecute the perpetrator. At least that is the generally accepted "norm" of how the system works. But, apparently in Dubai there isn't even one hotline number to call to report sexual abuse. or at least my friend did not know of one. It is as if the work to help those who are being exploited, must be done in secret, because the government wants to keep the problem hidden. So a double secrecy! What an incredible challenge!
I am so thankful i was able to meet and talk with these friends though, and i look forward to staying connected with them - and see what God will do in and through them.

Now we have been in Delhi for a few days. amazing full and alive city! soooo many people! and the laws? well, they are more like guidelines... or completely ignored. new ones made up.
wonderful food and bright colors, but oh- so many contradictions everywhere you look! Spending time with friends here who are giving their lives for their country - answering God's call to serve. Giving up business and just asking God what they are to do. It seems so impossibly overwhelming in many ways, yet exciting to see steps being taken towards justice, integrity, and honesty. small steps, but steps. The book of Isaiah always seems to come alive for me when im here in india! God's heart desires Justice, and he is calling his church to step out here- he will fulfill his promises!
Crazy traffic, cows, sewage, metro lines, curries and corn rotti, flowers, bright colors everywhere, new little friends- giving candies, prayers, songs, laughter, passionate frustration, heart cries for justice. strong determination. Do not be afraid! The Lord is with you!
 Jai Mesai! जय!

flowers outshine

I wrote this while praying for one of the groups we are working with on this trip. A prayer for them, and for all of us.
 I had just been reading through Matt. 5 and 6, so that is the larger context.

Joy - abundant Joy!
One lord - savior
  No two masters
One
Abundant radiant life
Despite circumstance- not
     determined by.
Beyond. Above. Within and bursting through.
Visions for life
Laid down
Surrendered
Die to live
But first death. Painful. Cold.
   Surrender as a living
   sacrifice... Over, and over
   and over...
And life begins again
  Refreshed. Pure.
Fire unquenchable
  Rivers rushing
Pursuing beauty
    Excellent beauty
Laughter at what the wold holds so dear
The flowers outshine
Love abounds
No fear
    Death is conquered
Open hands letting go
Victory is won
Unexpected glory
   Where you would never look
To Him be the glory
Over and over and over
                    again