Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Good Friday thoughts on Shawmut Ave


"The one who hung the earth upon the waters : today he is hung upon a cross" 
- Common Prayer, a liturgy for ordinary radicals  



Friday around noon, the procession from The Cathedral of the Holy Cross came down my street and by my front door. 
I got a text from my housemate Cathi that they were coming, so i opened the door, with my cup of tea, and there, saw Jesus, bent under the weight of the cross, struggling down the street. Long dark hair, dark skin, rough linen robe, roman soldiers were yelling and whipping and there were others with small cross bars, struggling along side. They turned down Shawmut ave, and came towards me. A crowd followed yelling "crucify him!!" over and over and over... angry, mob. there were the chief priests and Pharisees talking together on the side, walking, dignified, long robes flowing and long beards
The street is cleared of cars from street cleaning on this side. 
people are filming, and taking pictures along the way with their ipads and cameras. 
I reach into my pocket to get my phone- Yes, my first thought is wow- i want to capture this moment and share it. 
spectator 
when i try to take a picture, A notice comes up - my pictures are full. The processing is going by - and i see the back of Jesus bent under the cross head around the corner. The soldiers with their robes and helmets are yelling and whipping. I am overwhelmed with a sense of sorrow for just being a "bystander" wanting to get a picture... and wondering if i had lived 2000 years ago, where would i have been? what would i have been doing? would i just be watching? The fear and intimidation of the occupying Roman forces would im sure have scared me from trying to do anything to help Jesus as he stumbled by, though maybe? maybe i would have come alongside Mary and wept with her and held her hand and shuffled alongside behind the crowds who have been swept up into this mob yelling "crucify him! Crucify him! He must die" No- do they know what they are saying? These same men and women were fed by his miracles, weren't they? amazed at the healing, his words of wisdom. Why this anger and blood thirsty excitement?! Is it sport? is it just drama? Is it just something we take a picture of and post on facebook? A good newsfeed? Intstagram it with a cool filter. 
Heartbreaking confusion, anguish, fear, why is this happening to the Lord? to Jesus? this one who came from Nazareth, born down in Bethlehem, this one who has shown us such love and compassion, and has opened up the Word and presence of God in such amazing ways. Jesus- why??? Why are they doing this to you? 

all this for me...?... yes. 

the procession passes by, with police cars taking up the rear, with their lights flashing, and as the last echos of "crucify him!!" fade away down the street i hear the ice cream truck's little jingle song playing in the distance. 
what a crazy world. 

----
later that day...
Good Friday service at South End neighborhood Church, combined with 3 or 4 other churches, English, Spanish, Amharic, and a few other languages represented in singing, prayers, testimonies, and looking at the last 7 words of Jesus from the cross. 
1) "Father Forgive them, for they know not what they are doing" (Luke 23:34)  Forgiveness: from Pastor C of SENCE, sharing that he is only able to fathom forgiving the man who shot and killed his son a few months ago, because of God in him, God's love and power. 

2) "today you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:43) From Pastor Jose Flores, sharing that this criminal had NOTHING to offer Jesus, he was about to die, and all he asked was to be remembered. not to be forgiven or saved, but remembered. He is not any further away, or closer to jesus than anyone else. we all have this same chance to come to Jesus, to ask to be remembered.

3) "Dear woman, here is your son" (john 19:26) A member of the Ethiopian church (emmanuel disciples church) shared the awe - we cannot fully understand what Jesus did for us- his divine blood covers us and frees us, and we don't know what He was meaning when he said this to Mary, but maybe he was saying "it will be ok - I am fulfilling the Father's will". How heartbreaking for Mary to see this pain. 

4) "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me!?" (Matt 27:46) Pastor Workneh Tesfaye from EDC shared that life is full of "Whys" and many questions, but we must follow Jesus example, and finish our "whys" in submission to the Father's will

5) "I am thirsty" (John 19:28) Carmen Barrientos from SENCE and Iglesia Communidad shared about Jesus' full humanity, and even to being thirsty. Remember the story of the Samaritan women? He asked her for a drink, and then also told her, that if she knew who he was she would be asking him for a drink, and he would give her living waters. He asked for a drink, while he was hanging there on the cross, to fulfill the scriptures, because he was tired and thirsty, and also perhaps to remind us - to ask him for a drink, to be thirty for him, and for the living waters that his death and resurrection provide for us. 

6) "It is finished" (john 19:30) Pastor Lowell Bowler from Dorchester Baptist Church asked the question "what was finished"?? Our debt was paid in full. done. complete. there is nothing we can add, or need to add. But out of the love in our hearts for Jesus, we want to serve and give our life to him.

7) "Father, into your hands i commit my spirit" (luke 23:46) Pastor Neal from SENCE shared again that Jesus submitted to the Father, he gave up his life willingly- it wasn't taken or forced, it was his love for us that held him there, and this is what brings us life and salvation. 

Thankful. 
I am so blessed to be a part of this community! 
We all circled around the large wooden cross, that was taken down from the wall and Nate held it up in the middle of the room. prayers and songs, and crying out to Jesus, thanking him for what he has done for us. 

Hallelujah!!  

---
After service I found out my friend Darla passed away that day. I've known her for several years, as she has struggled with homelessness and alcoholism, and come in and out of prostitution. She used to come over for tea on mondays, or stop by for a shower randomly, and would stay over night now and again. Once i helped dye her hair here in the bathroom. she liked to have jet black hair, and wanted to get rid of the grey that kept persisting. We did a pretty good job i think, and didn't make too much of a mess :) 
She had crazy unique rings on her fingers, often wore big clunky work boots, and was quick to laugh, even in the midst of the darkest seasons. Im going to miss you Darla. I gave her a pencil sketch of a girl with her face looking up into the rain when she had a place a while back here in the South End. As soon as she saw it in my room one night she identified with it, and felt it was a picture of her. I wonder what ever happened to that. 
Im sorry Darla... I wish there was a different ending. I trust that Jesus is holding you today though, that you are finally home, that you have finally found what you've been looking for all this time. The systems, the friends and families, even the churches of this world failed you in so many ways... But Jesus will never leave you or forsake you. I know you believe in him, and called out to him throughout your life. I trust that he has brought you home.  


"there in the ground, his body lay: Light of the world by Darkness slain..." 
but this is not the end...

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Ignorance. Deliberation

Anger
Power
Ignorance
Deliberation
Abuse
Violence
Rape
Manipulation
Again and again
The cycle continues
Unseen
Why?
Ignorance
Deliberation
Look the other way
Question the source
Disbelief chosen
Shhh
It is your duty to stay
Be a good wife
Be a good mom
Be a good girl
Shhh
Secrets
Cover up the lies
The bruises
The unseen penetrations
The Deeper than physical
Words cut
Emotional tearing down
Spiritual covering? Domineering 
Dominance
Dominate
Domain
She's mine.
Be a good...
    Christian
You dragging God into this? What god do you know?!
To use as a means to control and abuse. To get her to do what you say.
You talk about Love
Love? What is this?
You need her... You want her... You say you love her

Ignorance
Deliberation
Controlling me like I'm some sort of property??
Is this love?!
Anger welling up
Explosions coming
God why?! What have I done?!
Words of comfort syrupy sweet one moment and the next im cringing
Crying
Yelling
Safety? Where?!
No one will listen
Where will I get help?
Ignorance!
Deliberation?
Places of "refuge" for the broken hiding the instruments used for breaking.
Hiding
Secrets
Shhh
They tell me
Don't destroy his (our) reputation
What would everybody say!?
You would slander God's name
You would hurt them... All those people
What about me? What about him!?
Manipulation.
they say, We can't really do anything
Its too messy
Figure it out
It's your issue
but keep the marriage together
You can't leave
Don't say anything
We don't want the cops involved
Don't want the state interfering
'Worship' continues as scheduled
Going through the motions
Lies and secrets
Fester and rot
Deeply rooted
Sickness spreads
The Church is sick
Dying
Love is twisted
And covered over.
Ignorance?
Deliberation!
Fear
darkness creeps in, takes a hold
We are sleeping
Ignorant? No.
Deliberately choosing not to notice the ugly, dark evil mess that has taken root among us
It effects us
We are guilty too
We must humble ourselves and repent. Turn from our wicked ways
Cry out for forgiveness
Jesus hear us!
Heal us!
May what is done in the darkness be brought to light!
Pull up the root!
It will hurt
Deep deep pain
Sickening
Shocking
We cannot be ignorant any longer
We chose to deliberately reveal the secrets
Light bursts into the darkness
Refreshing
burning
Cleansing
Waters rush through
Purify
Bring us to justice and wash us clean!
Renew us, your Church Lord
Forgive us.
We cry out
artist unknown. found in a 24/7 prayer room. My brother took the picture.