Showing posts with label domestic violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label domestic violence. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

my sister Jade

So, here's a little story - a glimpse into a one life, one of my girls:

Last night as i was making my way back into the city from speaking up on the north shore i was biking down tremont st (around 10:30pm). As I pass Park St, and the Blackseed cafe and St Pauls and down to the Lowes Theater, i always scan the sidewalks, steps, and roadside curbs for friends of mine who are struggling with homelessness and often hang out around there. I especially look out for my friend Jade. She is one of my "sisters" here in Boston. She has almost the same hair as i do, and except for the dark eye make up we really look very similar. Ive known her for about a year now i think. She struggles with addiction to alcohol and some drugs, and she doesn't like the rules and "stuff" at the shelters so she basically sticks to the streets. She is about 23 years old. Her mom passed away a few months back. Her boyfriend is in prison. She wants to be an advocate for the homeless, for the abused. To stand up for her rights and others who can't speak up for themselves. She doesn't trust people. she is angry. She wants to move to california... someday. 
So, as i was biking down the street i saw something out of the corner of my eye that made me think perhaps Jade was there around the corner, so i crossed the street and got off my bike and went to check. Yep, it was Jade, swearing loudly to a friend of hers that she doesn't F'n believe in a god that can let child molesters and rapists go free... roaming around hurting people. its just not right. how can God allow this??! "They let these rapists get out of prison and go into the shelters and abuse us! No body cares!" 
I walked up and gave her a hug. 
I said quietly, "you know that breaks His heart... that breaks God's heart" 
"I don't F'n care! I don't believe in an F'n god that allows that. Its so good to see you!"
"oh, no i mean the fact that there is molestation and abuse and rape happening, breaks God's heart. He is wanting to use us - you and me to do something about it!"
"oh i am! Im helping with a documentary, and helping organize a sit in up at the capitol to let people know...I am an advocate, I stand up for my rights. My sign there. Its a statement. a political statement" 
I look down at her cardboard sign taped together laying on the sidewalk and written in black sharpie it says "Please don't ask me to move. I don't want to Prostitute. This is my first amendment right to panhandle" (see the attached picture. I asked if i could take it to share and help spread the word) 
She told me about how the police tell her to move on- that "Stemming" or "panhandling" isn't allowed. but, as she says "what would you rather me do? Isn't this better then sell drugs or selling my A**??" I don't want to prostitute, i've done that and... no... i don't want to. 


ahh... my heart screams out - NO, please don't! and everyone in the city, can't you see how this is driving her to desperation? police officers, can't you help her rather than just shove her aside?! but i don't really say much - just nod in affirmation of her statement, of her sign. yet the right to panhandling wherever you want is not the answer either of course. a few bucks an hour, going to more booze and candy is not helpful here.

I watch her stuff while she goes over to the commons to pee in a cup. (there are no public restrooms around the commons that the homeless can access freely) she feels to ashamed to ask for the key at the Blackseed when she isn't buying anything. she didn't want me to get something. So, she leaves with her cup, and i stand with her stuff... and the sign there on the ground by my feet, and talk with her friend - i think his name is Daren. people walk by, glancing at the sign, at me, at us. confused. maybe? or maybe they don't really notice. I turn invisible amazing how easy it is. To be invisible. Ive never really understood why people want that as a super power. 
anyway - Jade returns and we chat for a bit more about ending child abuse and discrimination and then i give her some fire drops (thanks mom) and a Lara Bar (had to sneak that in her bag, she hates taking stuff from friends) and i give her a few hugs, and let her know she is in my prayers. Sisters. 

thanks for joining me in prayer for Jade. For safety, for a good network of supportive people around her where she can begin to build trust, and that Jesus will lovingly woo her to Himself. 

goodnight! 
sarah

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Ignorance. Deliberation

Anger
Power
Ignorance
Deliberation
Abuse
Violence
Rape
Manipulation
Again and again
The cycle continues
Unseen
Why?
Ignorance
Deliberation
Look the other way
Question the source
Disbelief chosen
Shhh
It is your duty to stay
Be a good wife
Be a good mom
Be a good girl
Shhh
Secrets
Cover up the lies
The bruises
The unseen penetrations
The Deeper than physical
Words cut
Emotional tearing down
Spiritual covering? Domineering 
Dominance
Dominate
Domain
She's mine.
Be a good...
    Christian
You dragging God into this? What god do you know?!
To use as a means to control and abuse. To get her to do what you say.
You talk about Love
Love? What is this?
You need her... You want her... You say you love her

Ignorance
Deliberation
Controlling me like I'm some sort of property??
Is this love?!
Anger welling up
Explosions coming
God why?! What have I done?!
Words of comfort syrupy sweet one moment and the next im cringing
Crying
Yelling
Safety? Where?!
No one will listen
Where will I get help?
Ignorance!
Deliberation?
Places of "refuge" for the broken hiding the instruments used for breaking.
Hiding
Secrets
Shhh
They tell me
Don't destroy his (our) reputation
What would everybody say!?
You would slander God's name
You would hurt them... All those people
What about me? What about him!?
Manipulation.
they say, We can't really do anything
Its too messy
Figure it out
It's your issue
but keep the marriage together
You can't leave
Don't say anything
We don't want the cops involved
Don't want the state interfering
'Worship' continues as scheduled
Going through the motions
Lies and secrets
Fester and rot
Deeply rooted
Sickness spreads
The Church is sick
Dying
Love is twisted
And covered over.
Ignorance?
Deliberation!
Fear
darkness creeps in, takes a hold
We are sleeping
Ignorant? No.
Deliberately choosing not to notice the ugly, dark evil mess that has taken root among us
It effects us
We are guilty too
We must humble ourselves and repent. Turn from our wicked ways
Cry out for forgiveness
Jesus hear us!
Heal us!
May what is done in the darkness be brought to light!
Pull up the root!
It will hurt
Deep deep pain
Sickening
Shocking
We cannot be ignorant any longer
We chose to deliberately reveal the secrets
Light bursts into the darkness
Refreshing
burning
Cleansing
Waters rush through
Purify
Bring us to justice and wash us clean!
Renew us, your Church Lord
Forgive us.
We cry out
artist unknown. found in a 24/7 prayer room. My brother took the picture.