Sing for the glory of the living and the loving

sometimes i wish i could blog and write in a world where no one knows me, no one knows the people i know, and i could be just an anonymous storyteller, writing about the lovely, the challenging, the hurtful and the joys. But, doesn't that defeat the purpose of community and fellowship? of communicating to people who exist, as a person who exists and is known in community? I guess, in the end, im glad to communicate my thoughts with people who i may run into, or maybe live with, or call family... and i can talk things out over a cup of coffee. Maybe no one will bring it up, but i do appreciate your comments and thoughts on the things i wrestle with here in this space of words on a page somewhere in the tangled "Small world network"of the internet.

We live in such a crazy world! I am so thankful for the beauty, and so amazed at God's mercy, and yet my heart is heavy with the sorrows of so many - so many i know, and millions more stories i don't know. There are sorrows in life, and wounds that go deep, and its not all gonna get better. at least not now, not here, not in this age. But i think im beginning to let that burden go- to lift that off my shoulders and lay in at the cross. Today summer hit Boston and all the trees started blooming, and flowers are springing up everywhere. The commons was like a beach - everyone out in their bathing suits sun tanning on towels! The city was buzzing with warm happy people. Yet there was also tragedy. A friend is missing and last she was heard from she is being exploited by her "husband" pimping her out and beating her up. I know this lady well, and it hurts to think she has been dragged back into this life. (i think she is in her 40s? maybe late 30s?) also, a friend of my dad's was killed by thugs in Nairobi - someone he was looking forward to seeing when he was there. Her two boys are now orphaned. I think i remember her, when we lived in Boston back in 93, she was a classmate of my dad's.
A star has been silenced. her singing has stopped.
at least for now, here. where we can touch and hear her.

Lord have mercy! be with her sons, and her family, and community. Bring repentance and redemption to her murderers Lord! in your mercy, hear our prayer!

"...and all of the wickedness in the world that man might work or think is no more to the mercy of God than a live coal dropped in the sea."
W. Langland c. 1400 


I love this quote, on the wall in my friend's house i was staying at in CT. 
Really, only because of this do i have hope to keep pressing on. I have been called, i know this. But the exact acting out of this calling is still in the works, and i think will continue to be a journey step by step.
Im praying about going back to the middle east, and what doors may open there. Exciting! a bit intimidating to think of picking up and moving completely - maybe i'll just go for a few months? Im not sure.

I recently read "a wind in the door" and it was so very timely with things going on in my life. Naming, loving, being! not X-ing or annihilating anyone!

This painting i did last week was partly inspired by this quote:

"sing for the glory of the living and the loving, the flaming of creation, sing with us, dance with us, be with us, Be!" M. L'Engle

spare change

Thoughts flow, grand ideas i want to be sure i remember to write down pass through my mind, and then are gone. I've been learning a lot these days, and i wish to capture the lessons in words to remember and share, but the words don't seem to come when i sit to write them down.
well, here are a few short snap shots of life:

The importance of rest: im building rest into my schedule.  yep - scheduling to do nothing. I have had many wonderful people encourage me strongly to look at my days and weeks, and examine my times of rest. of refreshment, of health for mind and body. Athletes take care of their bodies. Is what im doing, as important as competing well in a tournament? Doesn't my mind, spirit and body then need care also? Yeah, i know its different, but its an example. I created a time map of my week and im working on building in rest, that will be held as important as any other meeting or activity. I do want to stay healthy, and able to run this race to the fullest. To press into all that God has for me to do, in His work of bringing hope to the hopeless, and light into the darkness. I need to take care of my voice if im going to be a voice for those whose voice has been silenced by oppression for the long term!

The beauty, challenge and relief of forgiveness and restoration of friendships.
 Conflict is never fun, and i would rather smooth things over and hope it all works out, then dig into the depths of conflict. But sometimes that is needed, to pull out roots of hurt and frustration that color the rest of the relationship. Sometimes it is impossible to do on your own, and i think always, it takes time and patience and radical abundant love beyond my strength.

The sun was shining brightly as i walked to a meeting in Beacon Hill. I was early, so i took my time, watching people criss cross across the city streets, and through the Public Garden. As I climbed up to cross the bridge, a man 'busking' said hello, then "hey, i remember you! from the summer! how've you been? where are you coming from?" I smiled and did sort of remember his face, so i said hello and that i was coming from the south end. He introduced me to the guy in running clothes leaning against the pillar of the bridge across from us, as his friend Teddy who is running from North Eastern. "oh dear, are they running after you?" we all laughed. The conversation quickly ended up around what i do for a living, and as I shared a bit about human trafficking my friend said "oh yeah, in my country organ trafficking is really bad!" Wow, i have hardly ever heard anyone who knows what organ trafficking is! I ask him where he is from, and he says Argentina. We talk for a while about the situation there, and he says there are underground hospitals that take out the organs and sell them on the black market. rich people buy them. We don't really know who puts them back into people? hmm. But the money is all connected to drugs of course. And People are just killed for their organs! He also shares how things are bad in China, and Vietnam, Cambodia, Eastern Europe and especially Russia. He has daughters, and if anything happened to them - "ah, i don't know what i'd do! I would find a gun. I wish i were a secret agent then. you know, Secret agents do go and find these people sometimes?"
"yes, i know- I work with some of them. And, if anything happened to your daughters, give me a call - i could try to get help for you - and Teddy will run after them!" we all laugh.
People are walking between us across the bridge this whole time. My argentinian busker is just holding his guitar, case open by his feet. He is thinking, his face serious.
Im going to have to go pretty soon. I give him a card with info about NFS. He says he has seen that on facebook! And, he gives me a fist bump "keep up the good work!" I tell him to do the same, and keep filing the streets with music. Its needed!
We say our good byes, and part ways. I never did learn his name. I hope i'll run into him again soon so i can ask.

As i cross the Garden i hear a familiar sound. A deep husky voice rhythmically sining "does aaanyone have any spare chaaange? Does Aaaanyone have any spare chaaaange?" as I walk closer I smile as i hear him add "does anyone have any long legs?" into the song. That is what he does. He sings his request for money, and adds bits about passers by, and the weather, and sports news, and also today i heard him sing an old Spiritual.
I walk up and smile " hello! its good to see you! do you remember me? from down on the commons, and my friend andrew?"
"Ohhh yeah, the really tall fellow?" and he puts his hands way up.
"yep, him. how are you?"
"oh yeah, i remember. doing alright. Does anyone have any spare chaaaange?"
"would you like some coffee?"
"does anyone have any spare chaaange? Does anyone... yeah, thanks! something cold. Aaaanyone have any spare chaaaange?"
"how bout an iced coffee? do you want milk in it?"
"yeah please and 4 or 5 splenda or equal. Thanks. Does anyone have any spare chaaaange?"
So, i go inside starbucks where i'll be meeting someone in a few minutes, and order an iced coffee. I put some whole milk, give it a stir, and grab 4 splenda and tear them all across the top at the same time (a trick i learned from my friend Tasha - she would always put at last 10!!) and then I grabbed an extra one in case he needed it. I think the lady sitting at the table was giving me a weird look. oh well.
I went back out and gave it to him. He stopped his sing-songy-song for a moment to say thanks. I asked him where he's been, since i hadn't seen him in a while. He said he's been around. He winks at me, as he says "Wherever I think there will be money" and ive been let in on his little secret.
I go sit on the steps a little ways down the street to wait for the person im meeting with, and after a few more requests for money i hear him start singing "If I help Somebody who has lost their way, then my livin' shall not be in vain. My livin' shall not be in vain..." 

Im thankful for George, and for my argentinian busking friend who wants to see an end to organ trafficking. And for so many other folks out on the streets struggling to get by, but have the time and space to put a smile on your face, to listen, to laugh, and to sing.

Later that day i picked up my housemate Levi from school and we ran and romped and explored our way through the garden, and along the esplanade. Leaves thrown, thornbushes attacking, skipping rocks and exploring under bridges. It was a beautiful day! and as we walked home we both agreed "the best adventures are the ones where you get all dirty"

update: Feb 2012

Hello friends! 

Thank you so much for your support and prayers and care for me!! and thank you for your patience in my lack of updates! I have been working on an update/ newsletter with awesome formatting and cool pictures since the beginning of January - but it just never seemed to come together. I will complete it, as an overview of 2011, and hopefully will send it out soon via email and snail mail... but for now, I wanted to just check in and give a bit of an update on life and work, rest, play, craziness and adventures! 

A lesson i am learning these days is how to fully live in the here and now, without first and foremost trying to "fix" what is broken or hurting or in need. To just be. My friend shared an image with me the other day, that has really stuck: we are to lay down our hopes and fears and burdens of wanting to see change... to lay everything down at the feet of Jesus, and then ask what we are to pick up and carry as we follow him. What is ours to carry? (see how it is backwards?)

For me this comes into focus when i think about my desire and passion to see change in our communities and systems so that life is valued, cared for, respected and can thrive! So that people are not buying and selling others for profit. So that little kids don't go "missing" but no one looks for them. no one cares. My heart aches for those who are held in abusive situations, whose identity is stripped from them- yes i want to see change!!! But, how am i to respond in living out my life day by day? how do i love my neighbors well, invest in my community and daily live out this change, when "results" are not clear and tangible? Things are complicated and confusing! relationships are challenging, but so good - because ultimately that is where what we say and do matters. I'm not sure exactly where the place for campaigns and large scale awareness efforts come in - though i see they are important on some level. I am cautious of the motivations for "making a splash" and being known...because maybe that comes and goes, and as it fades into history, what has been made better? what has healed? where has creative reconciliation permeated the brokenness to bring new life? 

In today's reading in "Common Prayer: a liturgy for ordinary radicals" : "Mother Teresa of Calcutta said, "To show great love for God and our neighbor we need not do great things. It is how much love we put in the doing that makes our offering something beautiful for God." 

Today, Lord, help us make our lives an offering of quiet commitment to thread love through the torn garments of society. Amen." 

 yes! This is how i want to live my life! This is what i want to be motivated by! And i am so thankful for the many friends here and Boston and around the world I've gotten to know on this journey who are living this out!! 

So, onto updates: 

Abolitionist Network 

(web page is a work in progress)

I have officially been an employee of the Emmanuel Gospel Center, as director of the Abolitionist Network for 8 months! Many lessons learned, amazing connections with people locally and across the country. Conversations around systemic engagement, technology support, and Counter-network strategy to break the networks of trafficking globally. William Wilberforce had a group of friends around him- they would meet for dinner, they built relationships of trust, humor and love in their own way... and each had some role of influence in their networks across the system. In some ways i feel like that is what I have the privilege of doing! Building friendships with other Abolitionists - doing what they can to build networks, to engage the systems of trafficking - and have these "off line" conversations, which build to global ripples of influence! 

I love helping connect people to the movement, where they best fit, and are passionate to engage. Every week I have several meetings or phone calls with people locally or across the country, and through our conversation about what they are interested in, i can point them to organizations or people in their area to talk with or join with in fighting trafficking. A few recent locations being Portland OR, Chicago IL, Richmond VA, GA, TN, FL, CA, Iowa, NY, DC, CO, RI. Fun to see the movement growing, and especially to see the various group and networks come together slowly but surely, with website resources in development, and circles of trusting relationships of NGO's and various networks increasingly overlapping. 

Locally, it seems Boston and MA may be a great case study of how we can create an effective state coalition - involving Law Enforcement, gov. agencies, service providers and other community voices! (seems we need 3 different networks, closely connected and moving forward with a common strategy) 

The MA legislation against human trafficking was signed into law in November, and took affect last week. The first task force meeting is this Wednesday, chaired by the Attorney General's office. We have a ways to go in strategy and bringing together the movement - but this is a great first step! 

recent news

interview with Survivor/ mentor at My Life My Choice

Happenings with NFS MA: 

I am still one of the state-directors (CAN leaders) for NFS MA. I see it as an amazing space to build cooperation and engage the community in the movement - everyone has a voice to add, and a role to play in ending slavery. So, that is our mission with NFS MA. Every month we have at least 10 new volunteers come to our volunteer meetings, and they we are constantly expanding our team for projects and engaging the community. We now have a volunteer coordinator, an awesome communications team, a Central MA director, a director of trainings, a Free2Create director, a point person for church engagement and prayer, an events team and many more projects in the works. Hopefully we can be a support to the community coalition/ voice in the new task force that is forming.

 We had a spa day last weekend with some of the survivors with My Life My Choice- so fun to hang out, do nails and hair and just pamper these teens who are just like any other teenager, except different. The pain and hurt is there, just under the surface. But they can laugh and look forward to brighter futures. They need love and support from folks like you! :) 

Amirah:

I am still on the board for Amirah - and it has not opened its doors yet, but we are getting very close! I am now taking the lead on referral networks and structures. Helping to build the bridges between folks in and around Boston who may be first responders to survivors, and Amirah as a resource for them. 

I continue to be blessed by my friends who are on the streets, and who are in recovery -who have been or currently are still struggling with "the life" of prostitution. It has been so wonderful to see many of these woman come to a place of wanting to help with Amirah in some way - whether to offer their input on the program plan, to help with referrals, or to support the girls we will eventually be working with. I love how my church community of South End Neighborhood Church is filled with amazing wisdom along these lines, and such a heart to support this home! 

We have found the house- and will be signing the lease soon. it is such an amazingly perfect fit!! I am so thankful for God's provision of this property, and everything surrounding it! We have amazing room sponsors who are going to help fund the decorating of rooms, we have filled up two storage spaces with furniture and other donations. We are just overflowing with volunteer support, and prayers, and I just step back and say "wow!" It is now so far beyond me, or any of us on the initial planning board. It is both exciting and scary!! haha. A lot of money is needed for the doors to open. We know its easy for God to provide it, and we believe he will - as he has been providing already all this time! Please keep Amirah in your prayers - and check out their site, if you'd like to donate, or invite them (us) to come speak. 

As I move forward into 2012, I am looking forward to continuing to build connections, to equip leaders with tools for strategic engagement and rest and refreshment, and of course lots of learning to do!!! Im still living in community in the South End of Boston, and I love it! There is much to do in Boston, but Im also excited to see where God might be opening doors to go back to the Middle East - and continue learning about the landscape of trafficking and exploitation there. No set plans - but please keep that in prayer! Relationships have continued from our trip to India last year as well. God is doing exciting things there! Human Trafficking is a global issue, and I see it as vital to develop a global counter-trafficking network! Not sure exactly what my role will be - but I'm excited to press into that! 

Thank you all SO much for your prayers if you pray, and for your financial support and words of encouragement! Though my needs are met, currently i am still short of what i hope to reach for monthly supporters. I would really love to bring that amount up so i can participate in, and support other abolitionists with retreats and trainings and other ministry costs. I am hoping to reach $1,400 coming in each month so that I can help support the movement further beyond just my salary. Right now I think I have about $800 committed support monthly, and then many generous one time gifts.  I am so blessed and humbled by each one of you, as you see what God is doing, and join in! Every gift is a blessing!

If you are interested in continuing to joining with me in this crazy adventure, the best way to give is at http://egc.org/donate and select "Abolitionist Network". 

you can also mail a check made out to The Emmanuel Gospel Center with "Abolitionist Network" in the memo line. and mail to 2 San Juan St. Boston MA 02118.

Also, if you are around the Boston area - come to EGC's Annual Fundraiser on March 17th!!! It will be at Jubilee Christian Church in Dorchester. It is a wonderful time to come together with Christians from across the Boston area, and to learn more about what the Emmanuel Gospel Center has been up to, and to join with them in ministry to the city of Boston and our churches. 

Thank you again! Many more stories and adventures to tell - but hopefully more updates will be coming along soon! 

Blessings,

sarah

Wood and Nails and Colored Eggs

by: Martin Bell


WOOD
Something like an eternity ago, human beings got all caught up in the illusion that being human is a relatively unimportant sort of proposition. Here today – gone tomorrow. A vale of tears – that sort of foolishness.

What’s more tragic, of course, is that in the wake of this basic error there quickly followed that human beings are expendable, which easily degenerated into the proposition that some human beings are expendable. Really bad guys are expendable. Guys with low I.Q.’s are expendable. Anyone who disagrees with me is expendable. A long time ago, human beings got all caught up in the illusion that being human is a relatively unimportant sort of proposition.

Well, that’s not true. It’s wrong. All wrong. And it has always been wrong. From the creation of the heavens and the earth, it has been – wrong. There is nothing more important then being human. Our lives have eternal significance. And no one – absolutely no one – is expendable.


NAILS 
Jesus was dead. He was dead and buried. It was expedient that he should be dead and buried. Caiaphas had explained that to himself and to the others over and over again. It is expedient, he said, that one man should die for the sake of the people. Jesus is expendable. Caiaphas suffered from the illusion that being human is relatively unimportant. And so Jesus was dead.

What happened then wasn’t so remarkable, really. God simply raised Jesus from the dead. He merely walked into the tomb that we call insignificance and absurdity, and meaninglessness, and other such names as that – he merely walked into the tomb and raised Jesus from the dead.

There was nothing very spectacular or remarkable about this. God revealed himself to be the same God who created the heavens and the earth and called his creation good; the same God who led his people out of Egypt to be a light to the nations; the same God who affirmed David in his weakness; who called forth the prophets; who kindled the heart of John the Baptist; and who reached out to touch his tiny children in the person of Jesus Christ.

God raised Jesus from the dead to the end that we should be clear – once and for all – that there is nothing more important than being human. Our lives have eternal significance. And no one – absolutely no one – is expendable.


COLORED EGGS 
Some human beings are fortunate enough to be able to color eggs on Easter. If you have a pair of hands to hold the eggs, or if you are fortunate enough to be able to see the brilliant colors, then you are twice blessed.

This Easter some of us cannot hold the eggs, others of us cannot see the colors, many of us are unable to move at all – and so it will be necessary to color eggs in our hearts.

This Easter there is a hydrocephalic child lying very still in a hospital bed nearby with a head the size of a pillow and vacant, unmoving eyes, and he will not be able to color Easter eggs, and he will not be able to color Easter eggs in his heart, and so God will have to color eggs for him.

And God will color eggs for him. You can bet your life and the life of the created universe on that.

At the cross of Calvary God reconsecrated and sanctified wood and nails and absurdity and helplessness to be continuing vehicles of his love. And then he simply raised Jesus from the dead. And they both went home and colored eggs.

purpose.

more thoughts written on my phone...Jan. 8, 2012. sitting in a coffee shop in Boston.

I sit and watch out the window- the city go by. 

Where is this thing called purpose? An arm to hold? Somewhere to go faster then the others on the sidewalk? Handsfree headsets, texting, music blaring, checking the weather, stocks or what's for dinner. 

When you stop does it stop? If you sit and rest what happens? Has purpose flown away? Do you lose your grip? Or is it in the pause, in the quiet that you catch a glimpse of meaning? Deeper than the spinning pace of the sidewalk journeys- more than another person or what newsfeeds feed you through your phone.  

What is it? This reason for being this motivation, this passion? 

Created. Called. 

Purpose. 

thoughts come slowly

wrote this on my phone about a week ago... still feeling similarly these days. tired, stuffy, hard to process...

Thoughts come slowly
Haltingly
A mixture of determination and resigning- tired. Done. But knowing there is so much yet to do.
Can I curl up and cry?! There is no end to the dark, twisted, evil - the death, abuse and destruction of all that is beautiful. Sometimes it seems hope is lost. Shriveled. Minds are too busy with their gadgets and games. Work is too stressful, life has no room for...living.
For seeing the other- reaching out a hand to touch. To care. To help.
So the darkness spreads and what can be done?
One small blade of grass pushes up through the asphalt towards the sun.

I feel like I'm choking on passion to see things change.
To what? How? Where do we go from here?!

I feel like theres so much dark and so much hopeless so much sickness so much tired so much scared. Where is the life? Where is hope? Where is light?! If it's not in the church, where is it!? If it's not us, who is it?!

thoughts from Christmas eve 2011

catching up on some thoughts and writings... here's some notes i wrote out on my phone Christmas Eve:

The word, the light, the hope the joy comes among us. 

Quietly, secretly, to nowhere and nobodys

Light shines in the darkness. Do we know this light? What are we doing with it? Through it? Do we hide it?

All over the world people are gathering to remember the birth if this baby son of God. Is it understood? Has the darkness understood? Out on the streets people are cold. Where is there heart ache? Where is there brokenness? Where is there cold, sick and despair? 

The way to God is by going low. Get down and see him. He came down. 

Where does he call home?