Ignorance. Deliberation

Anger
Power
Ignorance
Deliberation
Abuse
Violence
Rape
Manipulation
Again and again
The cycle continues
Unseen
Why?
Ignorance
Deliberation
Look the other way
Question the source
Disbelief chosen
Shhh
It is your duty to stay
Be a good wife
Be a good mom
Be a good girl
Shhh
Secrets
Cover up the lies
The bruises
The unseen penetrations
The Deeper than physical
Words cut
Emotional tearing down
Spiritual covering? Domineering 
Dominance
Dominate
Domain
She's mine.
Be a good...
    Christian
You dragging God into this? What god do you know?!
To use as a means to control and abuse. To get her to do what you say.
You talk about Love
Love? What is this?
You need her... You want her... You say you love her

Ignorance
Deliberation
Controlling me like I'm some sort of property??
Is this love?!
Anger welling up
Explosions coming
God why?! What have I done?!
Words of comfort syrupy sweet one moment and the next im cringing
Crying
Yelling
Safety? Where?!
No one will listen
Where will I get help?
Ignorance!
Deliberation?
Places of "refuge" for the broken hiding the instruments used for breaking.
Hiding
Secrets
Shhh
They tell me
Don't destroy his (our) reputation
What would everybody say!?
You would slander God's name
You would hurt them... All those people
What about me? What about him!?
Manipulation.
they say, We can't really do anything
Its too messy
Figure it out
It's your issue
but keep the marriage together
You can't leave
Don't say anything
We don't want the cops involved
Don't want the state interfering
'Worship' continues as scheduled
Going through the motions
Lies and secrets
Fester and rot
Deeply rooted
Sickness spreads
The Church is sick
Dying
Love is twisted
And covered over.
Ignorance?
Deliberation!
Fear
darkness creeps in, takes a hold
We are sleeping
Ignorant? No.
Deliberately choosing not to notice the ugly, dark evil mess that has taken root among us
It effects us
We are guilty too
We must humble ourselves and repent. Turn from our wicked ways
Cry out for forgiveness
Jesus hear us!
Heal us!
May what is done in the darkness be brought to light!
Pull up the root!
It will hurt
Deep deep pain
Sickening
Shocking
We cannot be ignorant any longer
We chose to deliberately reveal the secrets
Light bursts into the darkness
Refreshing
burning
Cleansing
Waters rush through
Purify
Bring us to justice and wash us clean!
Renew us, your Church Lord
Forgive us.
We cry out

artist unknown. found in a 24/7 prayer room. My brother took the picture. 

cards, cows and mindsets

Nika and I have been traveling for 9 days now. We have seen and learned a lot. we have met some incredible people, wrestled through systems thinking processes like hexagonning and causal loop diagrams, tried new foods, enjoyed old favorites from the region...I remembered the Arabic alphabet after a while of reading signs in Dubai and taught Nika a few letters. Hindi completely left my brain though - but i still remember some words, now that we are in Delhi.

Dubai is like a house of cards... a glittering, polished (on the inside) house of cards. large buildings towering out of the sand. half finished construction stand like skeletons in the landscape. luxury cars buz around the streets. dust and sand blow and cloud the view. Where is the heart of the city? Im listening, but i don't hear it... im still, but i don't feel it against my cheek. life blood flowing? what is this city built on? business, money, clean? perhaps not.
Malls everywhere... going forever. shop after shop, indoor pedestrian only streets paved with marble weave through the city. People from all over the world meander. headscarvs, full burkas, Galabayas, Koftas, skinny jeans, stilettos, miniskirts... you see it all. Some women are fully covered, even their eyes covered with a black veil, and some women hardly had anything on at all. Meandering through the mall. Children running and playing. laughter. chatting, honeymoon couples, and old couples, teenagers hanging out after a school day.
what a crazy world.
Women are seen yet not seen. Violence against women is hidden and hushed up. "No it doesn't happen here".
The United Arab Emirates, controlled by the King, and the small percentage of emirates. power, wealth, control. Law enforcement, and government officials are all Emirates.
The rest of the country is made up of people from all over the world - mostly India. yet they are never allowed citizenship. merely work visas. subject to being kicked out at the will of the Government. If you don't have an adequate job, or studying in school you can't stay. You must work and contribute to the well-being of the country.
Trafficking? Exploitation? Yes it happens. Entertainment, prostitution. and Labor slavery as well. I wasn't sure how or if i would learn about what was happening with human trafficking in the Gulf, but on my last day there i talked with a friend who has a heart and passion to help women caught up in prostitution and those who are abused in the labor camps. What would this look like? How can she and her community help?
As I began to talk with her about various ideas I realized how incredibly blessed much of the world is - and specifically thinking about Boston - we have multiple hotline numbers to call if you are being abused/ raped/ exploited... the system isn't perfect, but there is a high chance the police will respond and will attempt to help you. Perhaps your story is not fully believed, but generally there is a care for the victim, connection with services, an attempt to prosecute the perpetrator. At least that is the generally accepted "norm" of how the system works. But, apparently in Dubai there isn't even one hotline number to call to report sexual abuse. or at least my friend did not know of one. It is as if the work to help those who are being exploited, must be done in secret, because the government wants to keep the problem hidden. So a double secrecy! What an incredible challenge!
I am so thankful i was able to meet and talk with these friends though, and i look forward to staying connected with them - and see what God will do in and through them.

Now we have been in Delhi for a few days. amazing full and alive city! soooo many people! and the laws? well, they are more like guidelines... or completely ignored. new ones made up.
wonderful food and bright colors, but oh- so many contradictions everywhere you look! Spending time with friends here who are giving their lives for their country - answering God's call to serve. Giving up business and just asking God what they are to do. It seems so impossibly overwhelming in many ways, yet exciting to see steps being taken towards justice, integrity, and honesty. small steps, but steps. The book of Isaiah always seems to come alive for me when im here in india! God's heart desires Justice, and he is calling his church to step out here- he will fulfill his promises!
Crazy traffic, cows, sewage, metro lines, curries and corn rotti, flowers, bright colors everywhere, new little friends- giving candies, prayers, songs, laughter, passionate frustration, heart cries for justice. strong determination. Do not be afraid! The Lord is with you!
 Jai Mesai! जय!

flowers outshine

I wrote this while praying for one of the groups we are working with on this trip. A prayer for them, and for all of us.
 I had just been reading through Matt. 5 and 6, so that is the larger context.

Joy - abundant Joy!
One lord - savior
  No two masters
One
Abundant radiant life
Despite circumstance- not
     determined by.
Beyond. Above. Within and bursting through.
Visions for life
Laid down
Surrendered
Die to live
But first death. Painful. Cold.
   Surrender as a living
   sacrifice... Over, and over
   and over...
And life begins again
  Refreshed. Pure.
Fire unquenchable
  Rivers rushing
Pursuing beauty
    Excellent beauty
Laughter at what the wold holds so dear
The flowers outshine
Love abounds
No fear
    Death is conquered
Open hands letting go
Victory is won
Unexpected glory
   Where you would never look
To Him be the glory
Over and over and over
                    again

"slavery"...?

Words only have meaning when attached to stories.
Everyone has different stories behind each word.
To one, a word could signify life and hope, to another the same word means control, guilt, 'savior complex'...
What then do we do when we are telling our story of revolution? Of changing the reality of vulnerability, exploitation and oppression? What words do we use? How do we define, unpack, make clear the message?

Here are some thoughts from friends and community members i've been talking with the last few months:
(I am keeping names out of it, but trying to give a glimpse of the "Story" each is coming from by sharing their ethnicity, race, gender, age, and geographical location. These can seem like unhelpful boxes, and i in some ways cringe when writing them out. Why can't we just all be "human". Yet, we do have unique and beautiful stories. Painful injustice committed and felt. As Richard Twiss shared last week, "We each see a piece of the night sky through our telescope, and we must learn to use one another's telescopes to braden our vision and understanding. And you can't use another telescope just by reading a book.")

Abolition/ Abolitionist: 

• "Seems to connect with the White savior complex" - LT, African American Woman in early 30s from Boston 
• "I use the term Abolitionist because thats what we are - we are abolishing human trafficking" - JW, African American Male in late 20s from Virginia 
• "Could have a negative power dynamic, someone better than the other" - RC, asian american Male in Early 30s from Boston
• "There is an urgency to write the wrongs of history- a deep sense of guilt for what happened and a desire to be on the side fighting for justice this time. If i had been alive then, i would have wanted to be an abolitionist - so today, we are continuing the fight against the purchasing and selling of human beings. But its important to examine motives." SD, Euro-American woman in her late 20s. Boston
• "Sort of could seem to mean 'whites saving blacks'. Although there were black abolitionists in the history of slavery." - JK, African American woman in her 60s from Boston 
• "Its different today, so I say, if you use 'Modern Abolitionist' it works" RT, Native American Male in his 50s from SD
• "The main problem with "abolition" is the disconnect is the lack of abolitionist interest in prostitution. The problems of human trafficking and prostitution are connected, but one is not the other. Fighting against human trafficking is popular--but fighting against prostitution or labor exploitation? For these battles, we will meet strong opponents who will criticize us at every turn and we won't be able to feel as good about ourselves." - GH, Euro-American Male 40+ 
• "Some communities might really love the term Abolitionist; white folks and even immigrant communities. But I don't think the Black community resonates with that language for today" - WR African American / Caribbean islander Male. 60+ from Boston 
• "It has religious connotations" - Ero-American Male. early 30s from Boston

Slavery:

•  "I think it can be helpful to use the term Slavery. But its important to be careful of using "modern-slavery". It cancels out the pain of the historic struggle with slavery. It says that pain is over, this is the modern version, the new story. In reality we are still struggling with the impact of 'historic slavery' and it is connected with what is happening today." - LL, African American Woman. 30+ from Boston
• "I don't like to use Slavery to talk about what is happening today. Today, globally, it is not legal. In the past slavery was a legal institution. So today it is a very different thing" - VB Biracial (african american / white) male 30+ in DC
• "No, it is not slavery, it is not a racially based, institutionalized realty in society today" - WR 
• "We don't like to talk about slavery. It hurts. What we need to do is present the information of what is happening to each community, and let them decide what language to use in describing and communicating about it" - JK
• "I think it's powerful to talk about a continuum of conditions and a mixture of circumstances that lead to these conditions, from kidnapping to coercion to economic enslavement. The terms slavery and abolition cover some conditions, fair trade and economic justice cover others, I think the anti-trafficking movement needs a term that covers a wide range of injustices with the common theme of freedom and justice...." - JL, Euro-american woman 50+ in Boston
• "ahh slavery... Have you been to the Caribbean? to the auction blocks, the slave trading posts?" - African American/ Caribbean male 30+ from Boston

Human Trafficking:

• "It is very much legal language. disconnected from what is happening on the street corner in Dorchester at 5:30am when i am dropping my daughter off at school" - African American woman. 40+ from Boston
• "I prefer to use Human Trafficking for whats happening today" - VB
• "When a person of color tries to stand up for their rights, or make known an injustice we get shut down. 'what are you still complaining for?! you have a black president! and he was even reelected!' We are ignored, seen as wining, no one wants to listen. So then 'human trafficking' is all over the news. Disconnected. thats frustrating." - (paraphrased) LN Latina Woman 30+ in Boston

Emancipation Proclamation:

• "Well, how do i say this? It wasn't empowering. It didn't really do anything. It didn't have teeth to make change. So its not really something we celebrate" - MG African American Male 30+ from Boston
• "President Lincoln and other Republicans were concerned that the Emancipation Proclamation, which in 1863 declared the freedom of slaves in ten Confederate states then in rebellion, would be seen as a temporary war measure, since it was based solely on Lincoln's war powers. The Proclamation did not free any slaves in the border states nor did it abolish slavery.^[1]Because of this, Lincoln and other supporters believed that an amendment to the Constitution was needed." - Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/13th_ammendment

More to come! 

My girls

He's gonna take my girls
My babies
If I do or say anything against him
What he wants goes
That's just the bottom line

Housing, food, presence
Where is he?
He said no. Don't like the neighborhood.
So I turn down the 3bedroom
No.
I'm living at my grandma's
He is couch surfing with friends
He asks for money, so I give it. And more. And more.
Til I i need to ask grandma for some money for milk.
And is he working?
No.
Every month.
I can't say no.

"nooo don't tell daddy!"
They are scared of him too
I'm surprised grandma hasn't strangled him!
But dont you dare say anything against him!
He's my man.

He is all I've got. Right? I love him... Don't I? He wants me, doesn't he? I matter?

I do what he says because we are in a relationship!
...And he threatens to take away my girls.
forever.
I can't live with that.
They need a mommy.
They need a daddy!

This is what I've got. Don't tell me to change. Him or me - I can't.
No.
What he sayes goes. That's just the bottom line.

----
This is my friend's granddaughter's story. My friend (the grandma) is grieving, angry, frustrated - what can she do?! Its so hard.

thoughts on Networking

Thoughts from a counter human trafficking network strategy "bridgebuilder"  
(written on my iphone en rout from Boston to San Jose CA) 

Networking: 

1. It is about Building relationships!

2. The Process/journey is more important than the outcome

3. Listen and learn!!!

4. Sometimes you need something to offer before someone will talk to you. "how do I benefit personally?" perhaps wait on talking to those people for a while.
(Though, you will be surprised how easy it is to find a "value add" in what you do. Helping spread the word about an event they have coming up to your network, or introducing a valuable volunteer to them when you have learned of a need. Note: be extremely careful with introductions and information sharing once you have gathered someones info and are working to gain trust. )

5. Sometimes when you meet with someone you can get going on just one small shared passion... And the relationship takes off. Learn and listen.
Write things down! It's amazing how quickly information will leave your mind when you walk away from a meeting. Pay attention to other people's contact info. Other organizations to follow up with. Upcoming events to go to or pass the word about.

6. Ask good questions - but to know what questions to ask, first you need to listen to the needs. Start picking up on bits and pieces of the story- then press in deeper.
Where are they excited? What frustrates them? What do they love? What could be better about... (be specific whenever possible)

7. Sometimes you need to convince an organization of the ways they benefit before they join into any sort of relationship... Bonus that it benefits everyone and the greater mission! (shhh don't tell)

8. This is why I tend to start on a personal relationship level- not organizational. People change jobs, but their core passions remain and if this is connected into the network and the larger vision, in the end you will last longer and influence the systems more holistically. People will draw others along in what they are passionate about. If they see how the vision helps them and others, they will want to join.
Then those organizations who just care about their own mission won't want to be left out! That would hurt them.

9. Go to them. People are at ease and the most themselves and willing to share when they are in their comfort zone. Their space. Their territory. Don't just stand there and call everyone to you. Get out into the community. Get your hands dirty. Volunteer. Help out at things. Go to people's events. Care about what they care about and begin to learn the gaps and needs.
No, you don't do this only to get them to come to your events and meetings in the future... But it does help :)

10. Diversity is important! Don't just hang out with people who think and act and shop like you! Gather a diverse leadership team around you. Listen to them. Learn from them. Your perspective is just one small piece of the whole.
Think about factors of meeting time and space:

• location (public transit available? Parking? Off the beaten path? Downtown?)
• time of day - durning work, after work, on weekends?
• dress code?
• food? Price point?
• some feel comfortable in a board room, some in a basement of a bar. Who is your target Audience? Everyone? Maybe pick and chose for particular events, then have some with the express point of building bridges... Will take extra effort.
• Be aware of language, vocabulary, religious rhetoric, alcohol... Listen to Where people are coming from.
• Pay attention to Gender balance and diverse racial and ethnic communities.
• Is translation available? Sign language? Wheelchair accessible!?

11. As things start taking shape work together in casting vision. Be willing to shift and adjust. But do set some goals. Work out a mission and vision for the network. Answer the question "why should I connect in and participate with my time and resources?"

12. How do you store and track contact information?

• google docs are awesome. I have a master list that I keep updating, then I have it broken down by categories of job title, relationship to the network and events where I met people.
• input business cards into the google doc (or excel spreadsheet) as soon as possible. Those cards are just looking for the first opportunity to get lost!
• Create a google doc for meetings you have. Record information that you can easily search and go back to later.
• store notes from meetings in a central location/file that you can easily search.
• spend time processing information from meetings and find ways to share what you are learning to benefit others (I'm still working on this)

13. Tips on setting up meetings:

• set aside times in your week for meetings- both to learn from, and those looking to learn from you. Don't be afraid to give specific days and times you are available. Your schedule is just as valid as theirs. (so don't schedule over times of rest and self care!! (me))
• Be sure to then set aside time for follow up. A meeting is only as helpful to you and the network as the information you are able to capture and share, and the extent to which you can maintain the relationship.
• go to where they are... But when possible, sometimes it works to set up meetings one after the other at the same cafe or office and have people come to you (I haven't had much success with this, but my co-director Audrey was a pro!)
• This works best for meetings with folks who are requesting time with you. They are looking for information on how to get involved, or research for a school project. In these meetings you have more say in when and where to meet, and it's ok to utilize that for making the most of your time. Traveling between Meetings can take up your whole day! So be strategic! But, again, it is extremely valuable to take the extra time and make the effort to go to those who you are seeking to learn from.

So recap- "when you request, acquiesce, when they request it's ok to rest" (haha, I just made that up)

14. Always be ready for surprises!

Remember, as a networker, or "bridgebuilder" you are not responsible to fix the whole problem! You are just one piece. A very important piece - helping listen intently to the system's needs and help interpret the landscape in ways people in different communities can understand and find their place. You help plug people into the movement using their unique gifts and talents and applying their passions. You help to create spaces for people and organizations to come together, learn from eachother and improve their strategies and effectiveness.
I believe there is One who is at work beyond the brokenness we see now, that there is a Hope that goes deeper than the darkness, and God, this Hope, is weaving together an enormous tapestry that we can't even imagine. God has the master, brautiful plan- We are but one thread, and have been invited into the process of creating alongside God. Amazingly wonderful mystery isn't it?!

Let's continue to press on in building these bridges! Trusting the master weaver to bring it all together. In the end light will shine in the darkness and the darkness will not overcome it.


Sent from my iPhone

bound as givers

As followers of Jesus we give up ownership of this world
of stuff
of our requirements,
our measures of success.
accomplishments.
making it.
We give this all up. We are not bound to this world as "getters" but as "givers". We will lay down our lives - give all - for another.
We are not disconnected and merely waiting for heaven - No! we surrender all we have and all we are to be used as God leads us - our heart's blood intricately connected to the pain and sorrow of this world,  committed to living out the hope and joy we have in Jesus- even to following him to the cross.
So it is a burden, yet a release of a burden.
We release the pressure of success for this world, recognizing that our purpose is about something so much bigger than us. It is about God and what he is doing, not merely our own lives and personal happiness.

"We will not give up. And when we die, then we die pure and peaceful, resigned to God in our hearts." - Maximilian Kolbe
 Maximilian volunteered to die in the place of another prisoner at his concentration camp in Germany, and led the other prisoners who had been randomly selected to be shot in singing hymns and praise while they waited for their death)

I want to live like this. Ready to lay down my life, purposeful and excited to live it for the days i have.

perhaps more on this later... but thats it for now. feel free to leave comments/ questions/ thoughts